Who knew that four months could change you in such unerasable ways? The love I feel for Lucy is fierce, unlike any emotion I’ve experienced before. My body has never felt more purposeful: I wake each day to nurture this tiny, precious life. And yet my body has also never felt this exhausted: I am tired from the constant demands of parenthood…and it’s taken me four months to learn that it’s OKAY to admit it.
Lucy, however, is blossoming, and her development this last month has been particularly noticeable. She can now easily roll from her back to her stomach, and she’s almost sitting up on her own. She laughs (what a beautiful noise!) when we sing and kiss her toes. Papa has become the chief winner of laughs. Lucy has also discovered toys. A stuffed doll we like to call “Frieda” is now her constant companion.
Our little one is both passionate and observant. She wants to see the world and interact with those around her. She’s also become FIERCELY attached to mama. Our sweet cousin Laura has started to watch Lucy two mornings a week so I can work on a few projects. Laura has infinite patience for our very fussy little girl. Lucy cries and cries when I leave her now…only to erupt in smiles and giggles as soon as I hold her in my arms. While this often drives me (no, all of us) crazy, it’s also exciting to see that she’s becoming more and more human.
We’re still exclusively breastfeeding, and we’re hoping to continue to hold off on solids for another two months. She has become more interested in sitting with us during dinner and just the other night she reached out and grabbed my plate! I’m hoping that on Christmas day (exactly 6 months after she was born) we’ll be able to introduce her to food for the first time.
We also traveled to Houston this month so that Lucy could meet her namesake. My grandmother held her first great-grandchild in her arms, and we all stood there…in awe of the power of legacy. Lucy did great on her first flight, but the real medal goes to Ryan, who changed two blow-out diapers at 30,000 feet. Have I mentioned how much Lucy and I adore him? He’s the best husband and father I could have imagined.
And now to sleep (perhaps one of the more challenging aspects of first year parenthood). We started putting Lucy to bed earlier this month which did wonders for her mood. We had begun to suspect that her late evening fussiness was due to exhaustion, and so after reading several articles about sleep and infants, we began to put her down at 7:00 pm. Amazingly, she passed out right away and started sleeping through the night! Unfortunately, this gift was short-lasting because we’ve now hit what’s been termed the “4 month sleep regression.” We went from waking once a night, to sleeping through the night, to now waking up three or four times to nurse. I’m tired, and I’m also a bit cranky. But then I remind myself of the beauty of infant-hood and how quickly it all passes.
Lucille Amelia, you’re 4 months old now and you’re glorious in so many ways. The world is open and kind and waiting for you to make your mark. Our hope is that we help you find your way.
