My brother use to tell me I can’t handle almost everything and that every little thing irritate me but when I sat down to really think about it I realized it wasn’t completely true. Yes! Almost everything irritates me when it comes to him (my brother) but there are just 5 things that really really get my goats. The thought of any of them gets me boiling with rage or simply weakens mePower cut AKA ‘NEPA have taken the light’I know this has always been a Nigerian problem since ABC, even before the thought of conceiving someone like me was nourished, hell! Even before Nigeria became Nigeria but I can’t seem to get use to this power cut of a thing. It hurts like hell when you are watching the World cup match and your fav team is about to score and BAM! Nepa takes the light or your hair is dripping wet and as you are about to get under the dryer, there is power cut, I mean it just weakens you. Sometimes, I actually scream with rage, other times, I just look with a deadpan expression on my face. Please don’t talk to me when you see that expression ok? It’s for your own good.
Flinging things out of the car windowOmg! This I just can’t handle. Please don’t do that, it’s not nice. Aside from the fact that you are littering, you could actually cause an accident no joke! When I was in Benin City, my dance troupe was called for an event in Delta state and since we had leave for Benin that very day, we quickly did our thing and hopped on the bus to start our journey back to Benin. We couldn’t eat at the place butthe host was kind of enough to quickly put some snacks and food in take away packs for us. On our way, some of us started to eat and before I knew what was happening, plates and plastic bottles were just whooshing past my window. I was appalled; they were actually flinging these things out of the window. I couldn’t take it anymore so I tapped the guy in front of me.“Why are you guys throwing things out of the window? Is not right, don’t you know that you are littering?” I asked. He gave me a lopsided smile and said“Forget that matter abeg! Na Nigeria we dey”I was annoyed.
Cleaning an already made up faceAfter all the meticulous make up, you realize that a part of your face is flawless while the other is a mess or the powder or foundation is too much and there is nothing you can do about it than to wash everything off and start all over again. Phew! A voice inside my head would just be like “where would I start from now?”
Visiting UnannouncedI’ve got to admit, I almost forgot about this one until last night. It was 7:13pm and my dad was eating dinner when he got a call from our vicar saying that he was almost at our house. Huh? My dad had to cut his dinner short, started perambulating about asking if the drinks in the fridge are cold enough, telling me to sweep here and there, clean this one and that one. I was pissed. There is nothing stopping you from giving me a call or telling me beforehand that you would be visiting at so so and so time. Stop giving me cause to run about like a chicken trying to put me and things in place for your ‘grand’ arrival. I actually felt very guilty for getting pissed at the vicar and his wife for coming unannounced because she brought chicken peppersoup with yam and after ‘overhearing’ their talks I felt really blessed by the Holy Spirit. Yes I did, seriously.
DrugsI can’t handle the sight and smell of drugs. When I was little, I almost hated a girl just because she eats panadol, chloroquine and some other disgusting drugs like they were fried rice and chicken. She would take a handful of panadol, throw them in her mouth like pellets of sweet and start chewing them all the while rubbing her belly and closing her eyes like she is in heaven. She always makes sure am around when she does this. Well, I’ve always hated them, hate them and will continue to hate them. Just thinking of drugs now makes me want to puke.I’ve just remembered two more I would like to add but my post is getting too long and I’d rather hear what you can’t handle so that we could smile, hate or laugh about it
