I for one, didn't. My mother passed away when I was 11 years old. It was sudden, definitely not expected. A little history prior to, my mother could not have children. She tried a few times and was unsuccessful. So her and my father decided on adoption. First they adopted a very young boy. This would be my brother. He was 5 years older than me. Dad always wanted a little girl so they waited until I was found. Til this day, I am honored that they, my parents, chose me for their daughter.
Mom and I were best friends. Always doing things together, as a mother and daughter should. Yet, I was daddy's little girl. I remember the night my mother passed away to this day, some 30 years later. What I do recall, was going to bed angry with my mother. Why? I don't really recall that but I do remember, not saying "I Love You", when I went to bed. Now, if this was reality, I still don't know til this day but this is how memory serves me. It was late and night and I remember hearing dad screaming something. I go into their bedroom which was right next to mine, and I see my mother lying on the floor with my dad hovering over her, pounding on her chest (cpr). I don't remember everything after that but someone (if it was me, dad, or my brother) called 911.
I remember calling my aunt and uncle who lived nearby. That was dad's brother. The ambulance came and went to the bedroom to try and save mom. Where my brother was at this point, I don't know. I remember getting sick in the kitchen. I guess emotions were flying. The ambulance took my mother away. I don't know if dad rode with her or drove. I went to my aunt and uncles house. I remember dad coming to wake me up in my aunt's spare bedroom and telling me "Mom didn't make it." How devastating for an 11 year old to lose her mother. For my brother to lose his mother, and my father to lose his wife!
There was so much turmoil after that. People blaming my father for my mothers death. I was so lost without mom. I was trying to take her place at home. Ironing dads work clothes, cooking dinner for the family, cleaning as much as I could. I withdrew from everything. I cried going to school. I cried at school. I was teased in junior high by some mean girls for not having a mother anymore. Such cruel things were said, as I remember to this day. Time went on and this once "A" student, who was so lively and happy, was no more. My grades suffered, I withdrew from everyone, was depressed, and become a loner pretty much.
Oh how life would have been different if mom didn't pass. Dad soon remarried after that but having a "stepmom" just wasn't the same. That's probably a good story for another blog.
So, my mother never saw me become a teenager, graduate high school, become a woman, experience all the things we should have together. I forever feel sad because of this. Why God took her from me at such a young age, I'll never know. This was the beginning of my withdraw from God as well, as mom always made us go to church on Sundays. I not only lost my mother, but I lost my way and my belief in a higher power....................................
So if you're one of the lucky ones who still has their mother around, please, CHERISH every moment you can. I miss my mother very much to this day. It really hasn't gotten easier, I think I've just learned other ways to deal with the grief. If for only one moment, I could see her again and tell her how much I love her.....
