Dear Girls Next To Me in Row 15 at the Garth Brooks Concert,
There are many ways people stage an intervention. One is to gather family and loved ones together and approach you with their concerns. Another is to leave pamphlets and flyers about organizations that can help with your problem laying around your living quarters. But a little known one, one I’m going to use today, is to write a letter to strangers on a blog. Strangers that need help.
You two girls are beautiful, twenty-something year old ladies. You looked absolutely adorable in your camisole tops that don’t give you a shelf-looking bust like they do on me. You rocked your denim mini-skirts and cowboy boots in a way that would even make Jessica Simpson stop and go, “Damn, girl.” And your long, dark locks were perfectly flat-ironed, even in the back where I can’t ever seem to get my miniature T-Rex arms to reach.
So, why, oh why, do you need to both make out with the same douche-baggy guy that you brought down to illegally squeeze between your two seats?
I watched as each of you thought it was entertaining to slip your tongue in and out of the mouth of a guy whose arms slung around each of your shoulders as if he was going to make a boob grab in the movie theater like a 13-year-old at any given moment.
And even though you both laughed and seemed to like the attention, I couldn’t help but notice as the other kissed the boy, you seemed uncomfortable. You both looked as if you were only doing this because the other was.
Now let me say something.
As a 40 year-old woman who has definitely made her fair share of bad decisions, I want to help.
I want to tell you that this guy is a dirt bag. If I were to truly believe that you two were in control, that you were the ones in power here, I would say, “You go girls.” If making out with the same guy makes you both happy, well then heck go for it.
But that’s not what I saw.
What I saw were two girls thinking they needed to do this to get the stupid not-even-hot guy’s attention. Two girls who thought it would be better to put this guy before themselves. Two girls that didn’t realize how beautiful they really were and how they would never need to share a man.
You two don’t want to do stupid things like this, it’s not worth it. Because decisions like this come pictures on Facebook, videos on Vine and whatever else stupid social media this guy can snap a picture of you both on and post it to his jerkwad friends. And then BAM, in an instant your reputation changes.
But like I said, if you really were the ones in control, the ones who wanted to do it, then I apologize. But as someone who has been that girl who cared too much about a stupid boy whose last name you won’t even remember in 10 years, I felt like I was looking at myself from many years ago. And it wasn’t pretty.
So, let me leave you with this, girls in row 15.
You can’t just be beautiful on the outside. Find it within and then don’t settle for anything less than someone seeing that as well.
And also, invest in a good bra. The way your boobs were jiggling all over the place will make them start hanging down to your knees before you even have children. I’m trying to save you on many fronts here.
Best,
The old lady sitting next to you at Garth Brooks (with the amazing husband next to her that respects, loves and thinks she’s beautiful inside and out.)
