And We Dance (Happy Mother's Day)

Happy Mother's Day!
I think it's funny how, in most of my pictures, my mother isn't pictured-or she's with a group. I have very few individual candids of her, because she's never in front of me, always behind me. There's  powerful analogy here, the fact that her first goal isn't to get in front of my shutter, or any other things in my life, but rather to be behind me, assuring the angle is right, or all the information has been gathered, or that I have everything I need. I'm struggling not to fill this post with cliche sayings, how she's always been there for me, and that "even though we fight, I love her to death" because unless your words actually mean something to you, they're empty, and worthless. My mom's not worthless, so when I talk about her here, it's going to be my words, and not some Pinterest'ed, coined phrases.
My mom does some pretty dirty work. This past weekend for example, I had an event I was planning on attending, and there was something else going on. I said why I wanted to go, and she said why she wanted me to go to the other event, and left the decision in my court. From my point of view, this must have been very hard-to force me to make the decision, and live with the consequences. My mom is hardcore. And according to herself, not very brave-but that woman has tackled more obstacles I can ever imagine. When my dad was on deployment a few years ago, and we were struggling at our old church, she stuck it out-through my negativity, my sister's rolling emotions, some of the plummeting grades-it was tough. And another thing, in general, being the spouse of a service member is no easy task, and she's been handling anything and everything thrown her way for almost twenty years with four emotional-rollercoaster-girls on her back, not next to her, but on her back. My mom is also a peacekeeper. That's not someone who's able to just shut people down and say they need to work it out (but she does do that too) she's an excellent communicator, she's able to go between very different people and express needs and issues going on. Sometimes it takes a few tries, but she is persistent. There have been times when I have questioned my faith, and expressed my doubts to her. Rather than shut me down, or say I'm wrong, or start throwing over-spiritualized cliche phrases meant to make sense in a time in my life that didn't, she listened. She made herself available, she did her best to understand, and asked questions when she needed to. She held my heart through those times, when I felt as though I was being trampled through the course of every day life. When I really started to struggle, she was the one who offered to contact a counselor, she was the one who chose someone she felt comfortable with sending me to. That must have been so difficult, knowing that I was in need of someone, but not her, someone to reach me. She was willing to open those doors for me, believing in God's faithfulness and touch, that He would reach me, as He continues to do. My mother lifted me up, and in times, knelt beside me on the ground. She chose not to interfere, but to pray, and when I accepted my need for help she was there, immediately, willing to lend a hand. I know my mom has prayed for me, and funnily enough-sometimes our fights are based off of her concern over my silence and unwillingness to share my thoughts-something that seems so trivial now.My mom was the one who paid for my hair dye, the first time I asked to color my hair a florescent color. She was the one who scheduled my hair appointment when I wanted it all cut off-she chose to be involved in those requests I made of her, and every time I dyed my hair she was the one who did the application. And as we begin to scope out colleges, I have loved this opportunity to relate to both my parents, not just my mom, more so as an adult. These times, and Mother's day celebrations at home will disappear so quickly;I suppose soon she may be coming to my house, or we'll only be able to Skype-and those things do scare me. But just as she has lifted me, and so gently set me on the ground, turned me in circles and taught me to lift my face in times of trouble;I know my Mom, and she will be there, when I'm ready, to lend a hand. And so, we dance.
Happy Mother's Day, Julie :)
Liz B

"We Dance" is one of those songs originally wrote expressing God's love for us, and vice versa-in this case, a Dancer's heart for God. This weekend at my friend's Dance company's performance, the girls were led in this beautiful act of worship, dancing for Jesus-and I believe, that in life, especially for dancers, we dance. And so, on this Mother's day, I believe, my mother and I have danced many a dance together, and will continue to do so, until we go to dance with the "One who set my feet to dancing".

Lyrics to Bethel Music's: "We Dance"

You steady me
Slow and sweet, we sway
Take the lead and I will follow
Finally ready now
To close my eyes and just believe
That You won't lead me
Where You don't go

When my faith gets tired

And my hope seems lost
You spin me round and round
And remind me of that song
The one You wrote for me
And we dance

And I've been told

To pick up my sword
And fight for love
Little did I know
That Love had won for me
Here in Your arms

You still my heart again

And I breathe You in
Like I've never breathed 'till now

When my faith gets tired

And my hope seems lost
You spin me round and round
And remind me of that song
The one You wrote for me
And we dance
And we dance
And we dance
Just you and me

And I will lock eyes

With the One who's ransomed me
The One who gave me joy for mourning
And I will lock eyes
With the One who's chosen me
The One who set my feet to dancing
(x2)

Oh we dance

We dance
We dance, we dance
Oh we dance
Just You and me It's nice to know I'm not alone
I found my home here in Your arms
It's nice to know I'm not alone
I found my home here in Your arms
It's nice to know I'm not alone
I found my home here in Your arms God Bless