Hello there,
Today I’d like to talk a little about the need for approval…
The need for approval kills freedom. I know this because I spent years seeking approval until I realized it was a waste of time and didn’t work anyway. The desire to get people to like me motivated the majority of my choices and actions when I was younger.
The world is not black and white. You are entitled to your own thoughts, beliefs and opinions. It’s important to be able to respect the right of others to have their own opinions. But it’s equally important to respect your right to have yours.
As children we look up to our parents, elders, teachers, role models and friends. Then as we grow up most of us want to be accepted and in alignment with the world around us. That’s fine as long as it doesn’t keep you from finding out what you want for your life. If you’re constantly seeking approval then you’re not being true to yourself.
I stopped seeking approval because…
1. It Isn’t Someone Else’s Responsibility To Make Me Happy.
By constantly seeking approval from others, I was handing over the responsibility for controlling my happiness to them. It wasn’t their job. So I took it back. I’m in charge of my own happiness.
2. I Love The Freedom Of Being Me.
Getting rid of the need for approval was very freeing. I no longer have imaginary boundaries around me dictating how I should live my life. I decide what’s right for me. Because I am me and no one knows me better than I do.
3. Seeking Approval Is Exhausting.
Thinking about what everyone else thought of me and working out how I might receive favorable responses from them was draining. Absolutely exhausting. Exhausting and time-consuming.
If someone doesn’t like me for the person I am, then that’s their problem, not mine.
4. I Refuse To Keep Setting Myself Up For Disappointment.
Aiming to get approval from others took a lot of guesswork. No one knows for sure what goes on in someone else’s head. And I, like every other approval-seeker, could only speculate. That meant I often got it wrong and wound up disappointed by other people’s reactions.
These days I don’t waste time on trying to get into other people’s heads. I know that I’m working on being the best version of myself. So what other people think of me is really none of my business.
5. Everyone Else Is Too Busy Seeking Approval To Notice My Need For Approval.
Oh, such irony.
Seeking approval from others is widespread. So while I was worrying about how I was being judged by people, many of these people were busy worrying about how they were being judged by me. That’s just ridiculous. And what else? A huge waste of time and energy!
Bottom line: By becoming self-assured, rather than self- obsessed, you will more likely gain the approval that you no longer crave.
That’s all from me for now.
Have a great week,
– Sofia
