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Sometimes I feel like I'm one side of myself on the blog and the other side of myself in real life. Neither bit of me is bad- it's just two halves of one whole person. I choose bits and pieces of myself to share on the blog and bits and pieces of myself to share with people in 'real life.' I try to fit into blogging niches and worry about what I share of myself. But lately I've had the strong urge to be a whole version of myself, all the time.
I also don't want to concern myself with judgment anymore. I should clarify- I really and truly don't care if complete strangers read this blog and judge me. I do, however, care if people I personally know read this blog and then judge me. I worry constantly that if I say anything too deep or emotional it will be taken out of context or interpreted wrong. So I leave out those parts of me that want to voice my opinion or vent about something not wanting to come across as dramatic.
Most of the time, only a small part of who I really am shows up on this blog. And to be perfectly honest, sometimes only a small part of who I really am shows up in real life. Ugh, I hate how fake that sounds. But truth- we pick and choose what we want certain people in our life to know about us. We pick and choose what side of our personality shows at work and at school. Maybe only a small handful of people in our life have actually seen it all.
So I worried that I wasn't 'doing it right' when it came to blogging; that I needed to define myself as a home blogger, DIY blogger, fashion blogger, gardening blogger, whatever. I worried that I needed to have interesting and cool projects and DIYs on the blog every week. I worried that my pictures needed to be edited with cool effects, fonts, and graphics or people wouldn't read my blog. (And let's be real- we blog because we want a voice and we want that voice to be
There has been a lot of talk around the blogosphere lately of bloggers trying to fit in perfectly packaged niches. I confessed that I tried that for awhile thinking that I would only blog about x,y,z. It didn't work. And is was BORING to me. In reality, I'm much more complex than that. My likes and dislikes are very much like the ocean meeting the sand. The water comes and goes, bringing new interests in and taking others away. I can't always blog x,y,z because sometimes I care more about a,b,c. My interests are as ever evolving as I am. I get super excited about something and the next day I am totally over it.
That should be okay. That is more than okay.
So back to this idea of wanting to be a whole version of myself. I want my blog to be a reflection of who I am at the moment. Sometimes I love cooking. Sometimes I'm sad. Sometimes I don't want to do anything but work on my scrapbook. Sometimes I've had enough of the computer and just plain don't want to draft posts. Sometimes I'm having fun playing with Photoshop brushes and patterns. I want all that to feel and be okay whenever the mood strikes me. I want to stop feeling bad about my blog when it doesn't fit those stupid 'perfect blog' parameters.
I'm not asking for you, as my reader's, to give me permission to be my whole self. I'm asking myself for permission. Permission to step away from the blog. Permission to post three times a day when I feel like it. Permission to post cat photos every day for a week. Permission to write about whatever I want to write about.
Maybe you think it's silly to even have to declare this, but if you are a blogger than you understand this intense pressure to keep up with the blogging trends. Blogging today is very, very different than what it was when I started blogging on LiveJournal five years ago. Back then people just shared their lives with everyone else. Bloggers talked like real people and the conversation wasn't always about collaborating on the next guest post or joint thrift shopping challenge. The blogosphere has since morphed into something that lots of bloggers are trying to make a buck off of.
Don't take that the wrong way- I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to make a buck off your blog. BUT...when that becomes your purpose...your reason for blogging....that's when I would want to step back and reevaluate. I'm not saying I will never have sponsors or guest posters or anything like that- but my purpose will be more on sharing and discussing and opening up lines of communication between bloggers- and building friendships.
In other words: If you read the article I linked above, Aubrey talks specifically about DIY bloggers and I wholeheartedly agree with her observations. I feel that there are so many DIY and home decor bloggers out there who are just doing projects so they have something to share on their blog each day, so they can get sponsors, make money, and work from home. There's nothing wrong with that- but for me, I miss blogs that are about speaking your voice and sharing your life. I miss blogs that promote discussion and thought and friendship over common beliefs and ideas and interests. That feels like a better focus to me than attempting to monetize your blog.
I'm so sick of all the preaching about "having constant and quality content EVERY. DAY, having Pinterest worthy pictures, etc, in order for your blog to be successful. My blog will be successful to me if it reaches it's purpose, which is to making me personally happy, promoting discussion with other bloggers, building friendships with other like minded readers/bloggers, and helping me figure out what makes up my whole self and makes me individually awesome.
That's the reason I started blogging in the first place.
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(Another thoughtful post on why you don't need a niche can be found here. Also, people are not statues.)
