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To the disgusting fat body who thinks it’s alright to beat your little
girl, (and by beat, I mean BEAT, full-on Ike Turner) you may just want
to make sure the waiter didn’t serve in the Marine Corps, and the
table he’s waiting on isn’t full of off-duty state troopers (Just a
thought, you can usually tell by the high-and-tight haircut, and
generally large physical stature).
And to the mother who sat right next to him while he did this: Fuck
you, though I’m not going to be too harsh on you because it looked
like he gave you a once-over too. But come on, it’s your child.
So, here’s my story. And this isn’t a funny story, I have plenty of
those, but I’m going to start with this one because it’s always one
that sticks out in my head.
It’s a normal night, and as I’m doing my thing in my section, a 5-top
sits at my round table. Right after that, a really messy-looking
fat-body comes in with presumably his wife, and their little girl,
maybe 5 or 6. I was told by the waitress afterwards that she was a
very well-behaved child, cheery and just generally one of those kids
you like having at one of your tables. As I’m walking by, I hear the
father saying things quietly but forcefully “You’re fucking stupid”
“Stop fucking around with that crayon, that picture looks like shit”.
Now this got my blood boiling, and it took every ounce of dicipline
for me not to yoke him out of that booth and choke him right there. I
have done some things I’m not proud of, but it’s an innocent little
girl, and shit like that makes me livid.
Well, the trooper table is ordering and my back is to the table with
the parents and girl. All of a sudden, I hear slapping and screaming,
and I mean loud. I turn my head around and see this guy full-on
beating the girl, closed-fist. I literally saw red, and the Marine in
me took over. When he had his arm back to hit her again, I grabbed it
and hit him in the jaw, then again, and later my friend told me I said
something like “It’s not so fun when someone hits back is it?” and by
then one of the troopers had pulled me back, and the others grabbed
the girl and the guy. When the guy was in cuffs and I saw what I did
to his face, I said to myself “Oh no. I’m going to jail” I turned
around, and most of the restaurant was looking at me, silent as death.
I said “I’m sorry, someone else will be over to take care of you, I
have a feeling I’m leaving here with the same way that piece of
And with that, everyone started clapping and cheering. One of the
troopers came over to me, and asked to see me in the bar. I followed
him, and he shook my hand. “The way I see it, you’re protected under
the good samaratin laws, you saw the child was in immediate danger
from him and did what was necessary to protect her.” he leaned in and
said “I have a daughter too, Semper Fi”. After another little
conversation, I found out that he was Force Recon in Vietnam. In all
likelihood he was the ranking officer of the others, that’s why I
wasn’t brought away in cuffs. Once a Marine, always a Marine, and
Marines look out for their own. I could’ve just taken him down without
hitting him, but instincts take over sometimes.
I didn’t even lose my job, several other tables went up to the manager
to make sure she wasn’t going to fire me for that. But, I think it was
also because it is a private restaurant and managers have more leeway
when it comes to things like that. I ended up making like $400 that
night from the 6 tables I had. And I saw a lot of them come in again
and again after that. The way I see it, I make the restaurant money!
I learned later on that the woman was arrested for neglect. The girl
went away with grandparents.
But even if I did get fired, or arrested, there is no doubt in my mind
that I would do the exact same thing all over again.
In fact, I would probably try to be quicker so I could get 3 shots in