To you, I may be a smile, a firm handshake or an excessively articulate manner of speaking. To you, I am the 10-minutes conversation you had with me the night before. To me, nothing may seem as subtle and pleasing as being an unflawed image in your eyes. It can take me a YOUTUBE video on how to use my body language intelligently. It may take me further reading to understand how to plant the most prestigious perceptions in your mind. Frankly, it's a complete joy. It rejoices diametrically to emerge as worthy of being talked about kindly. It heals; it satisfies a gnawing psychological need; it clicks off the insecurities of seeing a deformed reflection for a few, fast-pacing seconds. Many have witnessed the most successful tumbling down. Questions have been aroused as to why they collapsed when they had it all. I've read books for authors who decided to eventually end their lives graciously by suicide. It all came rushing monstrously into our incomplete minds. How did a he or she fall so furiously when every breathing creature had a refreshing, planted perception of this figure? It does not require mental superiority to realize that one can succeed subtly in leaving gracious perceptions to wind up having the ugliest one of all. It does not require unequaled intelligence to realize that one can see eerie reflections of one's self when everybody else fails to see anything but handsome, chuckling faces.
The desire for absolute recognition can wear you out. Deciding to devote your life to practicing the art of customizing perceptions in the eyes of people while overlooking the significance of giving more attention to the most important self-image can force you to grow lifeless and terrifyingly dark from the inside. When your intentions grow ulterior, when you covet self-recognition so pathetically that you lose sense of who you're, you start striding on a sharp incline toward remote destinations.
I've been there. Nothing feels as ugly as it does. You may wonder why do people feel addictively willing to seek the formation of excessively perfect perceptions when it is that consuming. You may wonder why it is not righteous thing to do anyway. Well, it feels as powerful as what can lust grant you. It satisfies to overwhelming extents. But, like how a pain killer works, it gives birth to deep, hurtful pains as soon as the satisfaction evaporates. It leaves you with what your spirit fails to endure when you close your screen door, waving a goodbye to the last guest; when you're left to hear a clock tick more loudly than a passing by car. And, to why it is not righteous. Well, we never do it with poise; we tend to breach every inner moral code to further satisfy, to further belong. Had it been in your own best interest, it would have never been that consuming.
Nothing equates the beauty of having a healthy self-reflection. If this will harm a perception that you once left in the eyes of whom you seek his or her admiration, care no more about the well-being of the perceptions they bear in mind, but only about the one that can lead your life to cheerful places when healthy and stable. It's not rocket science and it will never require mental complexity to win your happiness. It's not about the perfectly covered self-help book perching on an appealing display. It doesn't need a party held costly or cheering as loud as the crowd does; all you have to do is to care about yourself. Sometimes selfishness is the key. Happiness has always been an individualistic sensation, and to reap it, you require seeking personal satisfaction and poise instead of running after strangers pleading with them to like you for reasons that seem unable to satisfy yourself.
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ιиѕριяє∂ ву: Knowing how I can be my worst enemy in case of having ugly self-reflections
