Yet another fantastic REVERB prompt, this time coming from EMBRACE LIFE.
Visit her link (it is with her name, Embrace Life above) and pick a prompt or two or twenty and play along. It is a grand way to look back and look forward consciously.
This was a prompt I wrote from yesterday but never got to post. It was one of those days!
If you could change one thing that happened this year, what would it be? Why?
What is one thing I could change that happened this year, it wouldn’t be my cancer. I think that was an important happening which I am supposed to use in some way. Well, I think we are to use everything that happens, but the one I would choose to change took all my breath from me and it happened simultaneously with my diagnosis and treatment for cancer.
Impeccable timing, eh?
I would change my beloved cheating on me. The good news is I am getting clarity on what I will accept and what I won’t. The bad news it is taking much longer than I believe it needs to. The bad news is when I asked him if he was “still seeing her” he said, “Oh, she’s been busy with other people” rather than, “I know it would hurt you if I continued, so I consciously made an effort to break it off.”
There is a text I wrote to a dear friend, one of my only friends who knows the situation. Here is what I said: “I told him bad choices don’t make bad people, as long as we learn from it, dust off and rebuild. Have to be willing. God knows I’ve made some horrible choices in my life. He sounded like he might cry, I think he gets it now. It is possible to inflict horrible pain on someone yet that person who you’ve hurt may choose to offer grace back.”
I wish I could say that was the last time I had to deal with this issue and this behavior. It wasn’t.
The third time I said to him, “You know what they say. Once, shame on you. Twice, shame on me. Three times, you’re out.”
I kept reminding myself of my stand for grace. He was horrified at the thought of me retreating completely.
I prayed about it and I continue to pray about it.
December and January will be important months. My hope is to wake up on my birthday on January 29 with a clear solution.
