Chapter Twenty Three – Dear Nicholas,

Dear Nicholas,

 

 I know I fucked up. Big Time.

 I completely understand if you never want to speak to me again, but you’re right; I have loved you for a very long time.

 

 I never thought my actions could affect anything to this extent, or that I could even influence the living anymore. I was happy to just watch you live your life as I knew I could never be part of it. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. When I thought you were in danger, I acted impulsively and didn’t think.

 

 I know apologies are cheap once the damage is done, but to know that I caused you pain hurts me more than dying. I would fall down the stairs a thousand times more if I could take it all back, but I know I can’t. I am truly sorry.

 

 I ‘m going to help the police find your body so you family can lay you to rest. I know this can’t take back the damage I have done, I just want to try to put things right.

 

 I’m not really sure how this is going to go. I wanted to say I love you properly in case  before

 

Always,

 Jasmine