Diaries Magazine

Chewing the Fat

Posted on the 18 June 2011 by Maggyruth @maggyruth

So, I’m chubby.

No, really.  I am.  I know I am, I have the pants to prove it.

Truth be told, I’ve been chubby(pick whatever word you want for it: obese, fat, overweight, pleasantly plump, fluffy…well, not pleasantly plump…I’m not a turkey) for a long, long time.  I’d say forever, but that’s not true because there is photographic evidence of me being thin…when I was in first grade.

I do, however, weigh less than I did in high school (huzzah!).  However, I currently am about 35 pounds over my lowest weight as an adult (which I only was for about a second, anyway…I never even got my 95 pound star at Weight Watchers.)  Since getting married, I put on 10 pounds, and there’s been another 5 or 6 that have hung around after my recent surgery.  Boo.

As with most people who are motivated to lose a decent amount of weight, I’ve had my share of embarrassments to spur me along. I haven’t had one in awhile, and my motivation has been close to non-existent for a year.  Never mind that my largest pants don’t fit comfortably or that I feel like a stuffed sausage…I can’t stop with the sugar.

Then I took my chemistry exam this week.

My chubbiness has settled into what is typically considered a ‘pear-shape.’  Yes, folks, I have a wide ass.  That wide ass means it can be difficult (at times) to fit comfortably in a seat with arms.  Enter the chemistry exam this week, and I give you the worst experience I’ve had in a long while.

See, the auditorium seating that’s in the hall we have class in wasn’t made to accommodate someone with birthing hips.  And the stupid little desks that are attached aren’t much use either if you have any amount of a gut (ok, my amount of a gut, which has altered since surgery…things fit weird now.)  Imagine my horror when I go to sit down and I can’t sit straight down because my hips won’t go past the arms of the chair (I manage to fit in a seat during class because I sit in a seat that doesn’t have both sides…it’s actually a handicap accessible seat that has an adjustable arm…I didn’t realize this til the day of the test when we have assigned seating.)

I remember the last time I was so uncomfortable in a seat…I was about 60 pounds heavier and was crammed into an airplane seat.  I think I cried almost all the way home.

Thankfully, there is a plan in place.  I have food issues, no doubt, but I’ve known that for awhile.  I’ve been off soda for about 3 weeks.  Next stop, sugar (heaven help the Boy.)  The Boy and I are also (finally) set up to use the gym at his place of employment (yay for free gym!)  We went yesterday and have the delayed onset muscle soreness to prove it.

Anyone who has ever had a weight problem knows how much it sucks.  I’ve been in a better place and I want to get back there.  And there I will get.


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