Curse You Teething! Curse You!

It is 02:30 again and the twins are again both up.
One sitting bolt up right, eyes wide with fire engine red cheeks and a purposeful stare that says he doesn't intend on sleeping anytime soon.
The other with matching cheeks, that burn to the touch, a fingerprint of teething (because the tell-tale screams and tear stained faces are obviously not enough), whilst declarations of "Oh no!" leave her cute mouth at regular intervals.
This is another night spent on the teething edge of hell.
In sleep deprived delirious moments such as these, I wish for a samurai sword so that the evil monster that is 'teething' can take corporeal form and be vanquished by me 'Kill Bill' style (I would of course have to gain some kind of sword training, but being as this is a fictional scenario, I'm sure there would also be some awesome 80's style montage of me training and gaining these skills).
Ergh! How long does teething go on again?