Day 159: Be Immature.

 Illustration by Kelly Smith
This post is not for clean-minded, mature folk. So if you are this, I advise you to check back tomorrow. Me, not being mature, having the mind of a 10 year old boy who without doubt will always see the dirty side to a joke, take great pleasure out of things like this.
Let's flashback 6 months where Monsieur Flâneur and I were having one of our final conversations. It was an annoyingly sunny March afternoon and he had helped me move into my new apartment in The Marais. After all was done, we stood awkwardly in the hallway where his default was to launch into his speech that he didn't know what he wanted and needed time to sort things out. Alone. Emotionally exhausted from his played out excuses for ending things, I faded out and set my eyes on the banister while feigning interest in his words in order to hide how hurt I was. When my eyes came back into focus, I couldn't help but laugh at what I was looking at.

Can you see it? If you see something other than a wrought-iron curlycue banister than it's not just me. I just know that the blacksmith who was cutting this was laughing his ass off while making it. "Voici votre rampe! Bourgeoisies stupides! Hee hee!"
"Why are you laughing?" MF asked confused why I would suddenly make light during our "deep" talk. Wanting to just change the subject for the love of god I just came out with it, "Doesn't the design on the banister look like lined-up penises?". After the words came out of my mouth I bursted out into laughter while pointing at my new offensive stairwell railing. MF looked at them it and then at me, called me crazy and said that he'll call me later that week to see how I was 'doing', meaning was I going to hang myself because he decided he didn't want to marry me anymore. Please.
Coming home from Franprix last night with Séb, as I was fumbling with the keys, he had set our groceries down on the hallway floor, squinted through his thick Buddy Holly glasses and started laughing, "Why are there dicks on your banister?" he asked with the grin of a 12 year old pleased with his new discovery. "You really are a coquine!" I looked at him and smiled. He might just be the perfect guy for me.
Dick-designed banisters, only in France, only in France...