Diaries Magazine

Dear Dirt Devil People…

Posted on the 13 May 2011 by Redneckprincess @RdNeckPrincess

I hate you.

And your bagless vacuum cleaner.

Who in the HELL thought that a bagless vacuum was a good idea?

I think it was a man who hated women. One who’s mother used to spank him with a wooden spoon, or not let him eat candy, and he is taking it out Dear Dirt Devil people…on the rest of womankind. I am assuming he never vacuumed in his life and then spent most of his time thinking of ways to get revenge. Well way to go buddy, you got the job done.

I am also not sure how I got sucked into buying this damn thing. Was it the fact that I am sick of running out of vacuum cleaner bags? If I could do it all again. I would buy extra packages of bags…lots of them.

Cleaning the nasty little canister that comes with the Dirt Devil is every woman’s nightmare. Well mine anyways.

It is one of those models that has the little button you push and all the dirt is supposed to magically fall out the hole in the bottom.

IT DOESN’T.

You have to dig it out, with your fingers or a long stick, like maybe the one on the end of the wooden spoon that the douchbags Mom used to spank him with.

I have animals…there is hair. And dirt. And god knows what else, because I also have two boys. Dirty boys apparently. Or maybe they seem dirtier because I have to DIG THE DIRT OUT of the vacuum.

Which in turn, then makes me have to re-vacuum, because I never remember to clean it out until I am halfway through as well as then having to take out the garbage, because it fills up the can with a stinky dog hair and dust MESS. The whole vacuum then needs to be washed because the coating of dust and filth goes all over the place including my floor and down the side of the garbage can.

So tell me…HOW is this better than a bag? I just don’t get it.

If you say it is better for the environment,  I am gonna say fuck you. The bag will decompose just as fast if not way faster than the garbage bag I waste dumping the hair and debris into.

So Dirt Devil guys…I just wanna say. Not cool. You won’t get my money for a vacuum like this twice. Lesson learned, too bad it is going to be at least three years before I can justify buying a new one.

Unless I give it away.

Dylan will need a vacuum.

He is innocent and unsuspecting…I might be able to pull it off.

After all, it will be free, it’s not like he will be able to complain, well not to me anyway.


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