Everyone in the city is very much shocked to hear the news of his suicide. After all, this isn't the first one in this year. There are four or five such suicides in the prestigious institutions of CEG, MIT and IIT in this year alone. This guy who died recently was supposed to be a bright student scoring 1160 marks in his plus two board examinations with a cut off of 198 out of 200. The situation is the same in all the four other cases. The students who committed suicide had been the pride of their schools. They had been the inspirations of their juniors in school who aimed at getting into one of the esteemed institutions across the state. Their parents had had their entire beliefs on them with a hope that their son/daughter would make them prosper in their lives. Now the hopes of every single one of them had been shattered into pieces.
What basically could be the reasons of their suicides? They are supposed to be the most brilliant students. They belonged to the creamy layer of the state. They should have certainly worked hard in their school to get into these places. The minds of these students should have been that of a genius. But why did they turn into cowards and weak-minded?
1) Adaptation: Seriously, this is the most important reason. The students who come from rural areas or the districts down south find it very difficult to adapt to the new conditions and situations. The metropolitan life is certainly very much difficult to live when compared to other districts. The vast place, the huge population, the complex transport system, the fashion and the styles, the way of living, the type of food, the competition and what not! The very first thought that comes in the mind of a guy who visits the metropolitan city is how difficult is to lead the life in here?! Only a few overcome all these difficulties and survive.
2) Longing for affection and care: It is evident that almost all who had committed suicide were the hostelites. There must have been people in his/her place who had taken very good care of them. They must have shown them, all their love and affection. They would not have let him do their works and instead they would have done every thing for him right from polishing their shoes to combing their hair. I don't accuse parents for this but that they should have let them do their work so that they might have adapted to the situation where there could be no care or affection.
3) Lack of responsibility: Responsible students never get these cowardly thoughts. If you had been brought up responsible, you would have certainly been responsible. The parents should make their children aware of their responsibilities in the family and the society. On the contrary they always hide their difficulties from their progeny thinking that they should not suffer at that age. But this is purely an absurd idea. If they had known your difficulties, they would not have been irresponsible and gone to this extreme. Be responsible friends. Think of your parents every time you feel depressed. The so-called difficulties you face are nothing when compared to your parents' sufferings.
4) Fear about the future: If you are not living properly in the present, you don't have the rights to fear about your future. It is rightly said "Yesterday is a history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift. And that is why we call it the present." Live in your present. Put the maximum effort in what you do and don't worry about the result.
5) Ignorance and Insult: This is not the fault of those students. This is our fault, my friends. A guy can bear insults but not ignorance. Think of this. They come from different circumstances to an extremely new circumstance. They are already in a hell of problems. We must talk to them and help them. How many of us do that? We see them as a Martian. We should not ignore them just because they are from a rural area! We form our own groups but we don't consider them. They are separated and left alone. That is terrible. Talk to them and make them feel home.
6) Pressure: You are pressurized. Aren’t you? There are always the typical parents who tell their children the next line. “You have got school first in your plus two yet you have an arrear now. How could we walk with our heads high on the road? You are a disgrace to the family!” Dear parents, remember that this same child made you proud a few years back. The school and the college aren’t the same. They are entirely different. It isn’t a must that those who have topped their school should maintain that in college. The education in school is reading and in contrast the education in college is learning and not reading. First try to understand the situation in which your child lives. Don’t pressurize them just for the reason that your family should prosper.
7) Lack of support: Now-a-days it has become the style of a professor to tell this especially when a student couldn’t answer his/her question. “You have definitely mugged up the contents of the book and cleared the paper without understanding. You may have got 200 cut off in your plus two but it’s difficult to survive here. You are a goof and a disgrace. Remember those times when the students were so smart and so knowledgeable.” If you learned people do this, how will the parents understand? A good teacher is one who understands the student well and helps him in his life and leads him through his difficulties. Not a guy like you! You are only a disgrace and not he!
8) Lack of belief: Believe yourselves. When you don’t believe your own potential, how can you expect others to believe yours and help you? What matters if you have arrears when you are excellent in another field? Life isn’t only about studies. There are several things other than that. There is a whole new thing waiting for you outside the premises of your college. If you don’t fight against these difficulties and come up, how will you see those splendid things waiting for you? Believe in your potential and that will change the things!
9) Adolescence: This is the age of adolescence. You might get the feelings of love, lust and the practices of smoking and drinking. As I have already said, if you think of the sufferings of your parents, you won’t be a sordid one. There is no love on this earth equal to your mother’s. There is no care equal to the God’s on this earth. There is no affection on this earth as your father’s. Yet you choose to die just because a girl/boy rejected you? This is the sense of insanity. Think high of you. If you are responsible, you will think there are more things important now than this. If you scold me that I don’t know the feeling, well, yeah. I don’t know! I may not know. But I am sure that your love can wait till you get a job and stabilize in your life. What about your parents and others who have belief in you that you will improve the condition of your family? What about the people who have hope in you that you will take care of them in their final days? Don’t lose that! If your dad had this practice of smoking or drinking, what would have happened to you? Will you be in this place at this time? Never! Even if you are here, you must have undergone a great stress to get into this institution. He has sacrificed a lot for you. And it is a MUST that you must take care of them till their end.
Life isn’t something given by God for you just to end because you are in distress. It is something very high. Here is a famous dialog from the film called “Rocky Balboa” released in 2006.
I'd hold you up to say to your mother, "this kid's gonna be the best kid in the world. This kid's going to be somebody better than anybody I ever knew." And you grew up good and wonderful. It was great just watching you, every day was like a privilege. Then the time comes for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you're no good. And when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know. The world isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it isn’t about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you aren’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that isn’t you! You're better than that! I'm always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You're my son and you're my blood. You're the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, you ain't gonna have a life.
அரிது அரிது மானிடராய் பிறத்தல் அரிது
அதனினும் அரிது கூன், குருடு செவிடு இன்றி பிறத்தல் அரிது!
(Its rare to be born as humans and its even rare to be born without any impairment!)
This is a famous verse of avvaiyar. Life is a gift for us. Please don’t waste it for mean reasons!
