Decoding Likes

It is one thing to BE stupid. It is another to KNOW that you are stupid - rare, though, that is since most of the problems of the world are caused by stupid people who think they are Socrates reborn. But to have your stupidity rubbed in your face so often is, shall we say, not exactly the experience for which I joyously spring out of bed every morning and greet the new day. Yet, THAT is what happens, especially when I venture into social media.
Take this matter of Likes for example. Long gone are the days when you used to pick petals off a flower murmuring, "She likes me. She likes me not", to find out exactly what she does, by what you say when you run out of petals (Yeah! I know it is 'She loves me. She loves me not' but allow me some poetic license. And there is no need to snigger at the thought of my writing poetry). NOW, she strews 'Likes' like confetti and you are left wondering exactly what it means; exactly what is it she likes.
Is it raining in Chennai today?
Seven Likes and no comments for this Facebook status. I am sure it must mean something. But what, exactly? Growing up with the idea that a response to a question is an answer that addresses the question, I am stuck. The world has gone elliptical and I am still stuck with the linear thinking of my past days. The other, more nimble, brains probably decoded the 'Likes' in a jiffy. "Ah! He likes the possibility that it is raining in Chennai", maybe; or could it be, "She likes the fact that someone is bothered about rains in Chennai"?; Or is it "I like this person and let him not feel that he is shouting into an empty room'? If only I knew exactly what it meant.
Feeling sick since morning

21 Likes? Now what does THAT mean? Are all of these people in the medical profession in my vicinity and slavering for a possible customer? Do they only like the fact that I was not feeling sick till yesterday? It cannot be my subordinates rejoicing at the fact that I shall probably not come to office, since I am not working any longer. Maybe...just maybe...the meaning of 'sick' has changed to something like 'promoted'; maybe they are all rejoicing in my luck at getting 'sick' today. I cannot help feeling low, though, about the fact that so many people like the idea of my being sick and even all those comments seeking my recovery are no help. I really NEED to stop being stupid - if only to avoid getting unnecessarily hurt.
But how much can one learn? Just as I am gearing up to learn the real meaning of 'Like', Zuckerberg adds some more icons to the mix.
Is there someone offering coaching classes for this, somewhere? Oh! You shared the link some time back and I 'Liked' it? Hmmm!