Do I desire to be with her or just with anyone?
I have thought about this a lot.
I like to believe that we had something special.
How special can it be if it is interrupted by the slightest interferences.
Maybe I just created this image just around her. Saw things that weren’t there.
Chasing a fantasy, something unrealistic.
I wanted it so much, without completely understanding what ‘it’ is.
I was ready to endure all difficulties. To invest all I have into this shared journey.
Was I holding on to a hope in a hopeless situation?
I was hoping for a change.
I was waiting for her to feel the same for me as I imagined to feel for her.
I thought this is going to make me, make us happy in the long run.
I thought it is worth the trouble. I think it was worth the trouble.
I desired to be with her for a long time. Not just anyone but her.
I will never know if I ever had an honest chance or of it was not supposed to be to begin with.
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