A joke:
A chick steps off stage after her final number of a final performance, and suddenly silently bursts into tears. From equal parts joy, pain, and unfathomable relief, she crumples against the wall in the theater wings as the final scene plays out onstage, and makes a promise to herself.
…”I’m never doing another fucking musical for the rest of my life. So help me God.”
…And she totally kept that promise. For four years.
…Then, one day (early this week) a Union house says, ” Hey yeah…we wanna pay you to do this musical.”
…So the chick totally undergoes a severe flashback musical trauma PTSD instantly, and fires back a response doing damn near everything to talk them outta it.
“I’m super rusty,” she says. “It’s been four years since I’ve sung a note! I didn’t audition for the musical on purpose…you really prob’ly don’t want me in this.”
….And then they say, “Um, yeah, no…we really do. This is like a legit paying gig offer, for our premier show, in our first season, with extension option. So…you wanna join us or what?”
…And the chick, who is still freaking out from the first time it was offered, realizes that shit just got real. There in no real choice here if she wants to move forward. This is that thing she’s been fucking waiting for, it’s here, it’s now. It’s that “time” and “place” and “opportunity” she has been working her ass off for: A pro Rep company, in her own town, blocks from her doorstep. And they want her.
…It’s here. All the things…are right here.
…So she fashions a response, and presses “send,” trying not to puke from terror and the insane truth that: getting what you want can sometimes be supremely overwhelming.
…And the punch line is:
She loses the bet, but wins all the things. Just one day…from outta nowhere.
…Which is all to say: hey guys, I’m doin’ a mutherfucking musical! And by some wink of fate, it happens to be this one:
Who’duv thought…
I mean: really.
~D
