Yesterday. And the day before.
Two days chalk full of some pretty intense emotions... good & bad. Much heartache and crying, many cleansing words, and in the end quite a bit of healing.
I'm exhausted. I slept about 12 hours last night & am sitting here barely able to keep my eyes open. But despite the heaviness of my eyes and all that emotion there's a lightness about me. A lightness that has not been felt in quite some time.
This lightness is a direct result of talking to my father. Finally.
13 years in the making and God blessed that conversation beyond all expectation.
Now that it's over I'm tempted to dwell on the reasons it took me so long to get here. I'm tempted to kick myself for being so stubborn and for not gaining the courage to speak sooner.
Then I hear God say "Grace, my dear daughter. Remember GRACE. I have extended grace to you, to your father, and you must now extend it to yourself. My timing is perfect. My plan is divine. It took you this long because you needed to be in the right place to forgive and to move on. The waiting was not in vain."
Oh how I take comfort in those words.
And how I want to dance with joy today as 13 years of pain, hurt, fear, and remorse have been lifted off my shoulders to reveal a closeness to my earthly father and to my Heavenly Father that I have sought for so long.
It has arrived. And I am blessed. "You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy."