First of all, I knew Dana from Kiss my List was funny. However, I had no idea how funny until she wrote her post from the perspective of Flat Martini. That’s right. This week, we are hearing directly from Flat Martini himself. And he’s got a lot to say about his hilarious not-so-wild spring break adventures…
Check it out and be sure to head over to Kiss my List and say hi! Besides the blog, you can find Dana on Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter!
It’s Flat Martini here, hanging out with Dana and her family for the most awesome Spring Break ever.
I’m dreaming of pristine beaches, sitting poolside with an overpriced plate of nachos and being sipped in paradise. Imagine my disappointment when Dana finally pulled me out of her carry on, and I discovered that I was in a car, driving north. We’re both smiling, but I’m confused.
After driving for hours, we checked into a hotel and headed to dinner at Hairy Tony’s. I still had no idea where we were, but I questioned the wisdom in naming an eating establishment “hairy” anything. Tony turned out to be a lovely guy, although Dana did not let me meet him for fear of embarrassing her children. She did let me out for this photo opp, where my standard grin is actually more of a horrified grimace as I stand next to a huge golden statue of Hairy Tony:
The following morning, our Spring Break destination became clear. I was venturing into unknown territory: COLLEGE. Universities are typically the stomping grounds of my cousins Beer and Wine Cooler, although I have been to the occasional faculty party. Yet here I was, on a college campus, for what I would soon discover was Spring Break College Road Trip.
Stop #1 was a far cry from that pristine beach. Syracuse University, home of the Orangemen and colder than a frozen olive. I was not allowed on the campus tour; the high school junior would have been mortified. Dana did manage to sneak me out in the bookstore, though:
The next day we drove from Syracuse to Williamsburg – did no one look at a map while planning this road trip? The temperature went up at least forty degrees, though, and I was able to stretch out in the hotel after a long day in the car.
Stop #2 was the College of William and Mary. It’s a beautiful school, even in the drabness that is late March. Once again I was banned from the tour, but the high school junior did let me get in a photo with her after most of the crowd had dispersed. We happen to be standing in front of the Sir Christopher Wren Building, which is the oldest college building still in use in the United States. Two American icons, the Wren Building and me.
Dana let me shop in the bookstore again, and she giggled as she posed me with a hat and some sweatshirts. I was starting to enjoy embarrassing her kids as much as she was!
The family headed to Busch Gardens the next morning, and I couldn’t wait to ride all the coasters. Unfortunately, no one wanted to carry me around all day, so this was as close as I got:
I drowned my sorrows in myself all day, and tried to hide my bitterness when they finally came back to the car. But there is no use crying over spilled gin, and I was happy to visit our third and final college, the University of Richmond. It was a beautiful campus:
I know this road trip had to happen, but why didn’t I visit Dana’s family on a year they went to Disney instead? It did end well, though; I was lucky enough to be lying on the kitchen table when high school junior got her hair cut for Pantene’s Beautiful Lengths. She came home with her 9+ inches of hair, and Dana thought it would be hilarious to give me a ‘stache. What do you think?
Although we didn’t go anywhere glamorous, I enjoyed hanging with Dana and her family. Her kids were good sports; it can’t be easy to have a blogging mom who will do anything for a good guest post.
As for which college the high school junior should choose? After learning the cost of college, I now know why college kids drink cheap beer. I’m going to encourage Dana’s daughter to apply for lots of scholarships, and seriously consider a state school.
Cheers!
