Before Flat Martini joined me for my Chinese adventure, he took a trip to Canada to visit the awesome Melissa Charles from Not a Stepford Life. She was nervous about having our little cocktail of love cross the border and enter the land of “Eh” but I reassured her that she was perfect for the job.
And she was!
Come read how Flat Martini took his passport over the border and had a hilarious adventure! And be sure to stop by Not a Stepford Life on their blog, Facebook, or Twitter and tell them that Martinis and Minivans sent ya!
I was a wee bit apprehensive, to be squiring Flat Martini around. I mean, so far he’s been to a freaking OSCAR PARTY. What could I, a humble Canadian, possibly have to offer?
Then I thought, “Play to your strengths.”
So, I did.
First stop was taking Flat Martini to Tim Hortons. Some people call it a coffee shop, others refer to it as one of the Holy Trinity of Canada. (The other two being hockey and duct tape)
First thing that greeted us was Stanley Cup NHL doughnuts. See what I mean about the Trinity?
The smell of coffee was glorious, and Flat Martini started to consider his life after the blogging travels were done, and thought about applying for a job.
For the ride home, Flat Martini snuggled up to my double double and enjoyed the scenery.
We stopped to pick up a lottery ticket, and Flat Martini helped pick some numbers (no, we didn’t win).
“You’re all very polite,” Flat Martini commented, “But what happens if a Canadian turns bad?”
I assured him that we did have a police force, even a national police force, but he didn’t believe me until we took him to the local RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) station.
Finally, we got home, and introduced Flat Martini to the wonder that is Red Green. Granted, it was on DVD, but if you’re going to do Canada, you gotta know Red Green.
Problem with this is, it introduced Flat Martini to the third of the Trinity. Handyman’s secret weapon. Duct tape. He went a little nuts, frankly.
I’m not exactly sure how it all happened. It was during one of the hockey games, that I discovered that Flat Martini was also sipping on some Canadian beer. I shrugged, figuring that hey, he’s a martini, what could go wrong?
Then I found this.
I’m not sure it qualifies as an orgy, but I’m not sure it doesn’t either. Canadian beer, Smarties, four rolls of duct tape, I Love Canada bumper magnet, a hockey puck, and a freaking moose. I don’t even know where the moose came from.
What a hoser, eh?
