Contrary to popular belief (at least among my co-workers!), I don’t hate Christmas. I do, however, hate Christmas before December 1st. I also particularly dislike Christmas music, with the exception of a few notable songs and punk rock covers of almost anything. If you know me, you know I LOVE Country music, but there is NOTHING I hate more at Christmas time than country Christmas music. Sorry, KX96 – I turn that dial at this time of year.
While many Americans prescribe to the belief of “Christmas after Thanksgiving”, that doesn’t quite work up here for us Canadians. Our Thanksgiving is before Halloween. Christmas stuff going up BEFORE Halloween has even happened? That’s just five levels of #$%&ed. Apparently some retailers disagree with me:
Yeah. This was taken AUGUST 23 this year by my friend Andrea. I almost threw up. Too early for Halloween, let alone Christmas Hallmark!
I know, I know: I sound like the Grinch right now. But to be fair, I do put up a Christmas tree every year – just not until December 1. I also bought a reindeer kit for my car, have an adorable Christmas centrepiece ready-to-go, will be putting garland and Christmas lights on my (newly renovated!) balcony, and I love baking Christmas goodies and shopping for gifts for my friends and family. I also have a Candy Cane Crackle Ice Cream addiction.
But since this post isn’t about why I like Christmas, or even totally about Christmas, I’ll stop now and get on with it.
Here’s five reasons I’m the Grinch-who-stole-Christmas all of November (and not all are Christmas-related!).
1. November is cold, grey, miserable, and reminds me winter is coming. I hate winter (exception: when I’m skiing, or looking out the window from my warm home at a pretty snowfall). November is the worst, because it’s cold and gray and dreary and there’s no fluffy, pretty white snow yet. November is also the worst because, on occasion it gets warm again which is terrible for me as I get pressure headaches and migraines. November is like one, long, freaking weather-and-Christmas-too-early related headache for me.
2. If I hear Christmas music in November, I’ll complain. Loudly. Or at the very least, I’ll put on my headphones and blare something else to drown it out. “Bye, Lauren!” is something I’ve heard around the office fairly frequently when the Christmas music comes on and my music turns up. I think I already explained my dislike for Christmas music. A lot of it really is the tempo: I prefer fast, upbeat music (country, punk rock, top 40) and don’t really like many slower songs from those genres, either. When it comes to Christmas music, I tolerate it during December, and of course, I do have a few classics I like: Feliz Navidad, Santa Baby, Christmas (Baby Please Come Home), Jingle Bell Rock… but all in all, I’m not a fan. Many sound the same, they’re all so slow, and I get so SICK of hearing the same ones over, and over, and over. So in order to not be miserable when it comes to music all of December, I need to avoid it the rest of the year. Like in November… and for as long as possible in December. Sidenote: three cheers for everyone who complained enough to get Shoppers to turn off their Christmas music when they started playing it… on NOVEMBER FIRST. Seriously, WAY too early.
3. Seeing Christmas anything before December makes me want to puke. The exception to this rule is craft stores. When I worked at Michaels Arts & Crafts in Timmins, we got our first Christmas shipment on my birthday. Did I mention my birthday is September 8th? I was aghast, until the store manager explained the reasoning to me: if you’re crafting for Christmas, be it gifts, decorations, or otherwise… you need to start early. Or you’d never, ever finish in time. Okay, fair. Therefore I amended my rule of “No Christmas before December” to be “No Christmas before December… unless you’re a craft store”. Seriously, why you need to buy an advent calender, stockings, decorations, or fake tree before December (or at least a week or so before December) is beyond me. Don’t you people get sick of seeing Christmas everywhere by the time Christmas ACTUALLY arrives?!
4. We (usually) get the first snowfall in November… and all of Toronto forgets how to drive. This is one of the things I miss the most about Timmins: being around people who can actually drive in the snow. The amount of idiots on the 401 all winter without snow tires astounds me, and without fail there’s always a bazillion accidents this time of year as people learn to drive when the roads are slippery and white, fluffy stuff is falling from the sky.
5. It gets dark early. Another favorite thing about Timmins was how light it stayed outside in the summer. 10 p.m. and you could still see outside! I love the sun, and love when I see as much of it as possible – and hey, all that Vitamin D is good for you. But in the winter, it gets dark so early. There is nothing more depressing than leaving work when it’s already dark out, except maybe sitting next to the giant window my desk is next to and watching it grow dark while I’m plugging away at something. It doesn’t help that Daylight Savings Time ends in early November, so the sunset time all of a sudden jumps an hour earlier. Ugh.
Bottom line: November sucks, period, and THAT is why I’m a Grinch and grumpy all month. It doesn’t help that October is my favorite month, and I’m always sad to see it go!
