Tomorrow is my birthday and I have decided that I am throwing myself a surprise birthday party. I definitely will be surprised if no one arrives as I have not yet told myself who I am inviting. Hmmmm, maybe I will go to a bar and invite one of the beautiful girls there to join my party of one? I can honestly say that after the third drink, I am the most handsome guy in town or that is what the mirror tells me.
What is Game Theory and why do I care and what has it got to do with dating? Good questions. Game Theory sounds like something that computer nerds would spend hours developing, but it isn’t. It does not have much to do with games in the sense that we think, such as huddled over your keyboard. It is all about social situations and strategic decision making. In other words strategy! This leads me to the discussion of picking up girls, what can be more of a social situation than that.
You walk into a bar and you see a stunning redhead at the bar, sitting next to a plain looking brunette. You want to chat to the redhead, of course. Well ok, I do. I don’t really care what you want, or do I?
So this is what goes through your mind: “She is out of my league. If I go up to her, she will laugh me away. If I go up to her friend, I will have more of a chance, and maybe get a phone number.” OK, fair enough and logical correct? Yes, I agree with me.
“The redhead gets hit on all the time. She will not be interested in me. The plain looking woman probably does not get hit on often, so I have more of a chance.” Same line of thought. If you hit on the plain looking woman, it may make the redhead jealous or uncomfortable. This may work to your advantage. You can date them both. Should you always opt for the least attractive woman to optimize your chances, since she probably rarely gets any attention at all when she goes out with her girlfriends?
Wait a minute, “What are other people thinking now? Do they also think that they will have more of a chance with the plain woman?” Competition! “Yes, but if everyone is going to hit on the plain woman, then no one will hit on the stunner. So maybe I will hit on the stunner while others hit on her friend.” A strategy is set and that is how game theory works. Perhaps you are over-thinking things? I never do!
So you march over to the redhead and someone steps in front of you and corners her friend. Cool. You start talking to the redhead. You are in! Your theory worked. You are a master at game theory.
Nope, you idiot, they are a couple! Try game theory elsewhere, you didn’t take that variable into account. Back to the drawing board.
