We sang these lyrics in church Sunday morning and I completely felt them. I think everyone has a time in their life when things just aren't going right. It seems like one thing after another keeps coming at you. And you pray and pray and pray and things just dont seem right. If I'm honest, I would have to say it's hard for me to relinquish that control to God. I am a planner. I like my timeline and my way. But God is God and he is good. He knows so much better than I do. He knows every prayer, every thought, every struggle, I have ever had. No matter what I may "feel", he has never left my side. In the midst of my struggle, I could quit. I could stop running my race. But then I would never see my Fathers glorious plan that is 10x better than I could ever imagine.
I heard this story one time about a kid wanting a bike. He begged and begged for a new bike to ride around the neighborhood. So, his Dad came up with this plan to surpise him with a custom bike from a bike shop in town. A few days later, the dad told the son to get in the car that he had a surprise for him. He was secretly taking him to get his new awesome bike. However, the dad wanted to teach his son a lesson along the way about being thankfulf for the awesome bike he was going to recieve. So, they stopped at walmart to look at normal bikes first.
This is where the story took a turn. The son wanted a bike so bad that he pitched a fit in the middle of the store. The dad kept telling him to calm down and wait, but the son wouldnt have it. So, the dad, disappointed, finally gave in and bought him the bike from walmart. They loaded it in the car and as soon as they got home the son took off riding the bike. The dad couldn't help but be disappointed. He had so much more planned for him. Instead of a normal, average bike, he was going to get him the top of the line bike.
I feel like this is US so much with our heavenly father.
We think we know best. We want to follow our timeline on life, instead of sitting back and seeing the perfect plan God has for us. Its so easy to be an eager child. I can't help but think about this in relation to the past couple years in my life.
I had this "perfect" picture in my head of what our first year of marriage would look like. We would both have good jobs, hang out on the weekends, go see friends and family. Simple things. But, a minor detail tweeked our plans. Kevin is at a job where he works every Saturday, so we rarely get to go see friends or family or go do stuff on the weekends. For some reason, at the beginning, this was devastating for me.
Don't get me wrong, I was utterly thankful that we both had jobs and good jobs at that. But I was bitter, because I wanted things my way. I wanted to contorl the situation. It took me a couple months to get over this and I am sad that I acted that way and didn't trust that God knew better.
I know this is small example {and trust me, one of many examples I could give you - this is my constant struggle}, and looking back, it even seems silly to me that this made me so upset. I just hope, that no matter what storm you are going through right now, that you can rest in the fact that God is God, even when we don't feel it.
Let me know if I can be praying for you about anything going on in your life right now. Sometimes, we just need to get it out and confess to God that we dont feel Him, but we trust and rest in the fact that He is there.. and He is God.
