Hello AMAZING, Let’s Hold Hands & Snoop Through My House.

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Hello AMAZING, let's hold hands & snoop through my house http://wp.me/p38cMm-3gK #HomeTour #DIY #ideas

HOME TOUR !!

Today, we are touring my house. Okay, I’ve seen it. Now it’s your turn. *snicker* At the end of this tour, you may be inspired to DIY. Or drink. Or binge-watch LOST on Netflix.

One of my fave things to do on the internet is to troll home tours. I love sneaking into peeps homes, even if it is *virtually*. It’s a great snoop-fest.

It’s like going into the neighbour’s house on an open house. You pretend that you are looking at their house for ~~an imaginary~~ legit friends.

I would never do that. I would totally do that.

The same thing happens online, except you get to stalk their house and they don’t even know that you peeked in their drawers. Wait. That sounded wrong.

Want to see my house? You can look in my drawers. Wait.

Apparently this is going to be a sass-a-frass house tour …

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All the photos in the bloggy post are from instagram. I’ve been dating instagram for a while now. I think it’s true love. Definitely a mad crush. Possibly slightly obsessive. I not-so-secretly stalk a bunch of people on instagram that I want to be my friends.

I have instagram gurl crushes all over the place with my pal Norma @MyBeautifulPari, Deborah at @larksnest and Meesh over at @IDreamOfChairs. Meesh made this rendering of our treehouse for a custom stamp. I can’t wait to share that with you.

Erhhhmergerd … LOVE.

I thought about kissing Meesh on the lips, but we just met.

Are you on Instagram ?

If you don’t know jack about instagram, don’t sweat it… muffin. You can get the inside scoop on instagram in my free book here. <– it’s a kick ass photo app e-book. Just sayin’. Your going to fall in love too. Warned you.

It’s time to snoop in my house. Ready?

Wait for it. Waaaaaaait for it.

Here’s the deal. First, we need to jog up the driveway. Okay. Not jog. I trip over my boobs when I’m typing. Jogging is out of the question. I’m an exercise avoider. If we jog, you will need to carry me.

Now put me down, and let’s start the snoop fest.

Hello AMAZING, let's hold hands & snoop through my house -- alt=

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Twig curtain Rod DIY

After we ~~look for the hard liquor~~ rummage through all my drawers in the house, we’ll saunter over to the barn and have a grand finale by flopping our butts down by the fireplace at the pool. Ready for it?

Stopping running dammit. I’m exhausted.

Walk

Come on up my driveway …

Country Living

Smell the air? Feel the soft breeze ? Hear the sound of the gravel under your feet? Smell the manure?* Jokes. I just wanted you to snap out of it for a second.

We arrived…

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The reality is, country living = hard work mixed with laughs, cat pee and hand blisters. I usually go blind and become paralyzed when a wheel barrel comes into view. I don’t like that kind of thang. The wheelbarrow thing. It isn’t sexy. Blah.

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I’m Convinced That Hunter Boots Are Sexy, tho!

More reality { LAUNDRY } :

We do a lot of laundry around here. Best part…. the clothes line. That smell. You know the smell. It is like heaven and earth just jammed together and created an orgasmic scent. Mother. Nature. Genius. I created laundry soap with a bit of Robert DeNiro. The kooky story about DIY laundry soap recipe is here.

PS. You’ll save a billion dollars per load.

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Heaven On Earth Scent

Are you ready to come in the house, now that the laundry is done? Good. Should we be holding hands or something?

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Let’s saunter into the kitchen. Everyone likes to hang out there. I have no idea why. It’s certainly isn’t the food. I’d rather paint the kitchen, than cook in it. I love white paint and the staggering simplicity it brings to a space.

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Delta Touch Faucet *adore*

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Ikea Farmhouse Sinks

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West Elm Lighting (similar)

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Throw pillows from Ikea

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Omega Juicer + My favorite thaaang

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I baked bread for our house tour together. Dammit, I’m domestic.

It should have come with a warning label. Eat with caution. It’s as solid as a brick. If I bake more, I could build a house with the ~~bricks~~ loaves. Or knock someone unconscious. Definitely a mighty fine door stop.

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Reclaimed Wood Countertop

Life can be busy. Yet, tucked in neatly between the messy, nerve-wracking, nauseating pieces of busy life, you find the things that make you feel at ease. The comforting stuff. The stuff that says HOME.

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Ikea Paper Floor Lantern

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Sheepskin rugs for cosy seating

Our dining table and chairs are a mix of eclectic stuff, paint, spit, spilled milk and family conversations. We use old chairs that we’ve painted up, a funky bench and cozy Ikea upholstered chairs too. Yes, I said Ikea and cozy in the same sentence. How weird.

Life & Twigs :

Curtain rods and twigs. Story of my life, and it’s simple. Here’s how :

1. Cut twig from neighbours backyard

2. Make twig curtain rod.

3. Paint rod.

4. The neighbor won’t recognize his twig.

Your DIY is complete. Here’s how. It’s freakishly easy and super puuurty. I pinky swear. Ask my neighbor.

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Twig Branches are Cool !!

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Sheer Linen Curtain From West Elm

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How about HOME details ?

I like to mix whimsy and reality, with whatever I have in my basement …

Blogging Central Aka My Bedroom

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DIY on how to make this

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Crazy cool, right ? I didn’t make that. Drats.

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A Painted Floor Grate

DIY Barn Door Hardware :

Okay. Brace yourself. I have a bit of door porn to show you. The full blog post on how to make this DIY barn door hardware is right here.

PS. Ignore the popcorn ceiling. If I could punch it, I would. The only time I like popcorn is when it’s slathered in butter and I’m eating it.

Geesh, some of this ~~popcorn ceiling shit~~ house tour is embarrassing. Here’s the deal. Do you want to get rid of your popcorn ceilings? Burn the house down.

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Wooden Wheel Detail

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The Long View :)

Ignore The Fugly Popcorn Ceiling. Pfffft.

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Door DIY Porn

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Barn Door Hardware is dang sexy

That door hardware was cool, right? You can make it too. Here’s the DIY.

Shut the front door !!

Let’s bolt upstairs and check out a bedroom.

It’s clean { today } Clearly, it must be Easter weekend. Miracles do happen.

Look fast, this cleanliness will only last for 4 seconds …

Ikea bedding

Bedroom Ideas :

My son, Brett has a room that is the size of a broom closet. Maybe smaller. It’s one of my fave rooms in the house.

We wallpapered the ceiling ( it was a crumbling popcorn ceiling before that) and made his curtain rods from industrial pipes.

An industrial pipe = Curtain Rod.

For freaking real. You know I wouldn’t pull your leg. You can read how to do it here. So flipping easy. You will flip.

Legit.

Velvet Curtains : West Elm

I’m exhausted. Let’s go back outside again.

The Barn :

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Summer Days

The barn. Oh the barn. It once smelled like raccoons and other stinky barnyard things. Now it smells like good mojo and red wine. Not that I would drink red wine in the barn. I totally drink red wine in the barn. Helllloooo. I’m not new.

If you peek through the door, there’s a chandelier in there. There might be a drunk barn cat in there too.

Benjamin Moore Historical Paint Colours

This bench is made from our soffits that we ~~tore off~~ recycled from the house, when no one was looking :

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I was aiming for rain chains instead of downspouts from the soffits. That didn’t happen. You can read that wee story here : Rain chains are sexy and cheap, and won’t get you in trouble with your spouse. Pffffft. Note : Rain chains get you in trouble with your spouse.

Let’s lounge :

Last year, I bought outdoor furniture from Ikea. It was the least expensive outdoor furniture I could find. It’s also surprisingly comfy. I said comfy and Ikea in the same sentence again. #WhatIsMyProblem? W-a-h-e-i-r-d.

You can connect all of the chairs in an L Shape. Or leave them willy nilly. It’s all good. I move them around all the time. It’s a panic attack of musical chairs.

Bad news : I fell in love with the whole Ikea outdoor seating shebang. I went back for more last summer, and it was freaking gone. Gone. Poof.

* Stomps foot *

Good news : I was just at Ikea last week and it’s back in stock.

If you want it, buy it now or hate yourself later.

Start the car start the car !!!!!!

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Chillin’ it

Outdoor Kitchen :

Technically, these photos are our outdoor kitchen. Well, not really. The only cooking that happens is marshmallows in the fireplace.

The countertop is concrete. Yup. Concrete. Holy batman. It has lasted through ten Canadian *&*&^%!! winters. Maybe I should write a blog post about how to make a concrete counter top (?!) Maybe I should write a blog post on how to hibernate during a Canadian winter. Yuck.

Hmmm. I digress. <— That was a mature word for me.

PS. Tell me in the comments if you want a DIY on how to make this countertop :

I’ll ideas share with sugar bear

Shall we bounce? Was that a quick house tour or what? It only took eleven years, three hundred and nine days, seventy-two hours and fifty four minutes to make all the house reno’s happen. No sweat. That is why I drink.

And HIDE in the country :

There’s something sweet about quiet. It’s quiet. Quiet mind, quiet heart, just quiet. Shut up.

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I have a secret to spill :

I didn’t take you on a full tour. There’s more here in instagram. I often post pics there that I just can’t jam into a blog post. #ThereAreNotEnoughHoursInADay

Come follow me @lynneknowlton We can chitty chatty and talk wacky over there.

Need some Instagram Hot tips ?!! :

Use #hashtags, Betty. Even if your name isn’t Betty. If you want to know how to really play in the instagram playground and a bunch of other EPIC apps too, here’s a free book how. It’s chock full of my fave kick ass photo apps. Your phone called, it said you need that.

My FAVE Instagram hashtags :

Copy and paste these :

#love #instagood #me #photooftheday #picoftheday #instadaily #igdaily #instamood #iphoneonly #DearDiaryIWouldLoveToKissGeorgeClooneyAllTheLiveLongDay

Okay. Jokes, don’t use that Georgie Porgy one. George Clooney might show up at your door. On.Second.Thought.

I interrupt this instagram chitty chatty for some cool shit that I found on the internet …

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* Do you have an iPad? Use this app to save your instagram pics. I want that app *stomps foot* The app is called Padgram. It’s great for saving any photo on instagram. Get it. It’s free and it does other cool shit too.

* I watched seven straight hours of LOST yesterday. I’m not lost. I’m Netflix chuffed. It’s a great show. It’s been around for FOREVER, but apparently I just crawled out from under a rock and discovered it. Binge watch it this weekend. You’re welcome.

* I bought this.

I’m addicted. It charges my phone in a jiffy. It’s like phone crack. It’s high-octane crystal meth for your mobile devices. The only downfall.. it sort of looks like a shiny tampon. A fat shiny tampon* The red dot special. Bunny season.

* I promise to never use the word TAMPON again, in the history of the universe … unless it’s a tampon joke … in which case, all bets are off.

Toot a loo …

Gotta run. It’s time to get jacked up on chocolate easter bunnies and scarf down a big ol’ glass of ice cold milk as a chaser. You with me? I’ll race you to the chocolate bunnies. Unless I trip over my boobs.

Easter Bunny Funny

Have a faboosh Easter weekend, my friend !

Now spill it. Do you lurve home tours? Or hate them? Do you want more home ideas? I can pull back the curtains and share more of my digs with you. Maybe. First, I need to pick up the laundry ~~mountain~~ pile. Some of the homes on the internet are too perfect, and some of the houses are bat shit crazy, right? Right.

Do you have a fave app? What show do you binge watch on netflix? Are you going to inhale chocolate this weekend? Are you spending time with family?

Where do you live? What size are your shoes? Jokes.

Let’s do an around the world tour this weekend !!!

Where in the world are you?

Lynne

Diaries Magazine