Hotcake Houses. Part One.

I had only been house-hunting for an hour and my head was thumping a beat so loud that it made my ears ring. The scorching heat of the mid-morning sun filtered through the car window and I cranked up the air-con hoping it would keep my impatience at bay. I was waiting for my second contact of the day, an estate agent named Sabir. He was already ten minutes late and I wondered how much longer I should give him. Already the first hour of the day was wasted on an agent called Farhan, who had the combined intelligence of a doorknob. Even after listening to my specific requirements, he failed to show me anything that met my two basic needs; three bedrooms and a fitted kitchen. I had spent the previous day making a list of the agents to contact for the properties I saw online. But so far, what I saw during my research was not what I expected. The Internet only boasted the best angle of each house. They failed to capture the rotting woodwork, the outdated bathrooms, the dark and dingy kitchens and the lack of cleanliness. And for the tenth time that morning, I wondered how the landlords could command such an exorbitant amount for tenants to live there.A sharp car horn broke into my reverie. Checking my rear-view mirror, I nodded at the man I assumed to be my contact. He gestured for me to follow and pulled out into the road. A few minutes later, we arrived at a dilapidated villa, a golden exterior with crumbling brickwork. Sabir gallantly walked over and stood by my car, waiting for me to exit. Instead, I rolled down the window and shook my head.“Seen it.” “Already?” he asked looking surprised.I nodded. I had seen it an hour ago. It didn’t matter that I hadn’t gone in – I mean, who would want to live in a house that looked like it had been doused in vomit? “Do you have any apartments?” I tried my luck again. I had already asked the same question to Farhan, but I wanted to double-check his answer with Sabir. 
It turned our Farhan was right. The only compound that offered apartments, were in Ghoroob, a large compound that was managed by a dedicated team on-site. All other agents didn’t have a chance. Apparently, I didn’t have a chance either, as the waiting list for an apartment was the length of the Emirates Road.With my hotel bill rising by the day, I was pushing hard at finding a place that was ready to move into. The last thing I wanted was to renew my booking at the hotel, as the one bedroom apartment didn’t offer enough space for my family. Moving quickly was fast becoming a priority. Just the thought of chauffeuring my son on the 40 minute journey through the early-morning exhaust fumes was enough to unsettle me. It was for that reason only, that I chose to rent a place closer to his school. The only area that was affordable enough was a town just south of Dubai airport, called Mirdif. With the airport a 15 minute zip up the road, and the school a 10 minute run, it was the perfect location to move into.

“Oh, yes. I have a good villa…come, come…follow,” Sabir’s smile was encouraging. Could he have the perfect villa for me?I followed his car to Street 15. This side of Mirdif looked promising and my mood lifted. Soon enough we parked outside a modest semi-detached and wandered straight into the lounge. The spacious room led onto a fitted kitchen that had seen better days. The faded cabinets looked of low-quality, but I figured compromises could be made. I figured wrong. Upstairs, all three bedrooms narrowed into a sharp point, creating an angle that would be impossible to furnish. The bathrooms, were dark, windowless rooms that had cheap fixtures and fittings. Each showerhead looked as if it was about to crumbled onto the mouldy shower tray below.“How much is this?” I asked out of curiosity.The agent quoted a figure 10,000 dirhams above my budget. I felt myself swoon. All the houses I had seen that day were in the same price range. And all of them fell short of my expectations. It became clear that if I was to get a decent place, I would have to up my budget considerably. To find out what happened the next day, check back next week for the second installment of my house-hunt in Dubai.