How the Hell Did That Happen?!?

I am sitting down to write this journal after a week that I’d probably prefer not to remember, but I’ll record here in some detail because I’ve got the feeling that it’s the beginning of something that’ll either make the year for me or break me. I’m standing at the start of a new road, and I’m not sure where it’ll lead. It’s exciting, but for the time being I feel like I’ve been beaten up.
For a start, the girl I mentioned in my last entry found this blog and has decided to cut contact with me for the time being. That’s about all I’m going to say on that one, mainly because her main beef seems to be that I talked about her at all. So I’ll leave it there, in the interest of not pissing her off any more. That’s probably been the worst thing that’s happened to me lately.
I had a job interview yesterday that was both good and bad. I’m happy I finally got some interest from somewhere, however it seems that once again I’m being taken for talents that I’d prefer I didn’t have to use. The position I interviewed to make the short list on was an admin job, and I’m fairly sure I didn’t get it. Two things lead me to this; first was the interviewers enthusiasm to get me to sign up for labor hire (he assured me that there wouldn’t be any really heavy physical work going on but I’ll believe it when I see it), and second was the fact he said he’d get back to me on the position today and hasn’t. I waited all day for the phone call but none came, so I’m chalking that one up to a miss and getting on with life. That was the second thing that’s gotten me in a funk this week, though to be honest it’s just more of the same really.
I seem to have hit a stumbling block in my fitness regime as well, though this is pretty minor and to be honest I’m taking it as a sort of milestone. I’ve been at the ‘eating right and exercising’ thing for about a month now, and this is the first week I’ve had off the fitness, and even then I’ve chucked a bit of walking in for good measure. I haven’t strayed from the diet, save for one deep fried mistake on Sunday, and my energy levels have still been good – not as awesome as they were when I was all super positive and full on into the fitness stuff, but better than they were when I wasn’t doing anything and eating like shit. More than that, I feel that even though I’ve had a couple of knocks to my mental state lately, not only am I dealing with it relatively well, but I’m still motivated to resume the regimen once I’ve had a bit of downtime to digest and rest. So, even though I’m not doing everything in my power to keep fit and healthy right at this second, I feel that I’m refueling and taking time to deal with some other stuff first, and then I’ll be back into it and take off from where I left off. It really is a good feeling and I’m thankful I decided to pick up this way of life. It’s not without regrets, but it’s something I can move forward with. So that’s a positive.
In keeping with that as well I’ve made something of a momentous decision to change tack and see if I can actually get paid for this writing gig that I’ve been wanting to try but for some reason or another haven’t. I’m going to start looking into magazines and internet based fiction sites and maybe even see if there’s an agent out there who would take me on. It’s an empowering feeling to be moving forward with a couple of things that I’ve wanted to for a while. Like I’ve said, it’s not without regrets, and I sure as fuck get zero points for style, but it’s a step in the right direction for sure.
I’m a bit lonely lately, and I’m missing my old friends, but in all I think that the last couple of months have been good for me. As I said at the start of this post, I’m not sure where this year will take me, and I’m sure that not all the places it does will be good, but I’m looking at it with a song in my heart and a fire in my belly. I’m looking forward to it.
Peace.