How to Have a Happy Life (for the Men)

 Let's first start with what is the basics: PMS, for those of you who don't already know, it stands for: Putting up with Men's Shit.  ( Women's definition) All you have to do is ask a married, almost married, or any woman in general. 

 A pretty lady wearing a skirt, some guy is probably going to get hurt! Usually going to be his fault too!   Now then, let's cover the basics, but you are probably(chances are good) headed for trouble as you read.    Several ways this can come about, first, NEVER leave the toilet seat up, especially if the power is out, first will be a scream, next a splash, next, you'll find your ass on the couch for the night. Believe me, there ain't enough sorries to get back in bed that night!   Coming home late, and not calling in advance, well, there's another fight in the making, especially if it has fallen on a birthday (not yours either) or anniversary.If you forgot a gift, find a good attorney before she does. Especially if you like the car you drive, or the house your in.   Sports night (every night, right guys) WRONG AGAIN! If I have to explain this one, you are already in trouble.    Doing chores, well here you shouldn't have a problem, get the little lady to write out a Honey Dew list, spelled HONEY DO! Chances are, you will screw it up, but, she will be kind enough to point out the error in your ways. NEVER answer the question, " do I look fat " in whatever outfit she has kindly modelled for you! If necessary, fake a heart attack! I cannot stress the importance of this, REALLY!  

  Okay, we have covered some of the most important rules, at the moment my mind has drawn a blank, so I'm probably headed for trouble myself. Remember though, a happy wife, is a happy life!