I Can't Burp, Sneeze, Cough Or Fart!

Well, once again my feet have betrayed me. Walking up steps, arms full with what had to be 75 pounds of tools in a milk crate, and me being the dumbass and clumsy fucker I am at times, I tripped, fell over the milk crate loaded with tools, bruised my ribs, and at first thought I had broke my sternum? Anyway, it hurts to burp, cough, fart, and sneeze.At least it doesn't hurt when I pee. The above injuries took place at 5am in the morning on Monday, so it's been a very long week. Thank goodness the pain is slowly subsiding when I move...............Yesterday had to be the worst since I actually injured myself. I'd bent down and picked a few of my grandsons toys up, and was placing them under our deck, and it felt like I'd tore every muscle in my chest. The pain lasted most of the day, and later in the evening it started to subside a bit. This morning it isn't too bad at all, so hopefully I'm now on the road to recovery!  BB84CBJNBGNM