As I walked away from the 6th grade student that I just told off, I could almost hear Chris Isaak’s song, “She Did a Bad, Bad Thing” playing with each step I took away from the school.
Yes, I did a bad, bad thing.
Let me explain.
My 3 year-old son is currently obsessed with all things Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And with that freakish obsession comes a very deep love for his plastic Michelangelo mask.
This morning he asked to wear it to his sister’s school drop off. My instinct was to say no, but then I stopped and saw his growing excitement to wear it.
“Sure, buddy, go for it.”
As we walked up to the drop off line, a snotty little sixth grade boy said loudly, “What the heck is that mask? Some freak turtle?”
I took a deep breath and hoped my son didn’t hear and kept walking.
He continued yelling though.
“Ninja Turtles suck. Only a loser likes those stupid things.”
Okay, game on, kid. Game on.
I walk over to him and said nicely through gritted teeth, “It’s really not nice to make fun of little kids, you know that?”
He looked me straight in the eye and said, “I don’t care. It looks dumb. Why’s he wearing that stupid mask anyway?”
And then I did it. I said the bad, bad thing.
“I don’t know,” I said, “Why are you wearing yours?”
As soon as the words came out of my mouth I was horrified. I just told off a sixth grade on the school line. Given, all the kids in his class cheered and I think tried to give me high-fives, but oh no, no, it was a very low parenting moment.
I quickly looked around to see if there were adult witnesses but was relieved to find their weren’t. I quickly yelled out, “Just joking!” as the punk ass brat walked in to school but I’m sure he knew I wasn’t. I’m sure he wondered how the woman in the yoga pants and unclean hair just got away with telling him off.
And of course, through it all, my son wore his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles mask proud – completely oblivious that his mother just did a bad, bad thing.
I’m thinking that perhaps I need to invest in my own mask for pick up this afternoon…
