Two years ago. When the grays started their vicious attack…
Most women get excited on the day they get their hair cut and colored. But the past few times, dropping $120 and seeing grays again in 3 weeks hasn’t left me feeling that exciting. Plus, the past two times, in an attempt to make the dye last longer, my colorist has made my hair darker than I would prefer. As shocking as this is to hear, I’m actually not attempting to look like a goth-girl so the super dark hair might not be the look I’m going for these days.
So I made a decision today. The day I should be bouncing around the house with beautiful newly cut and colored hair.
I’m done.
I’m done dying my hair. If grays want to be part of my life so badly that they are willing to push their way through so quickly, then I believe it is my duty as their head of choice to give them the chance.
Will I look older? Probably.
Do I care? A little. But not so much anymore.
Of course I care about how I look, but I started to think about why I color. I color because I’m afraid I’ll look old.
But what would I look like if I just embraced the grays? Probably a lot more satisfied and at peace.
And with more money for wine.
And I realized that I’m not coloring so my husband will find me attractive – heck, I hit the lottery with him, he finds me attractive with a Goldfish cracker stuck to my ass.
No, I was doing it for me. And probably how other people viewed me. I was doing it so I didn’t look old.
But I am old. Not “ready to use Depends” old (though those do sound appealing for a night of drinking). The kind of old that has realized that confidence doesn’t have to be tied to youth-looking. That I can be confident AND beautiful with patches of grays throughout my head.
So here we go.
I’m writing it here so I don’t chicken out and sneak to the colorist in 8 weeks. It’s time to stop faking it and start living it.
You and me grays. We’ll show the world what real beauty looks like.
And we’ll maybe part my hair on the other side that isn’t so gray… Ya know, just to ease our way into this whole thing…
