I have this weird thing I do. I create names for everything, most people name their dogs, and I also named my dog but on top of that I named my kidney. Usually when and organ or a thing become a pest is when they receive their names. On the other hand there are some objects like a car that I think everyone should name. I personally feel that if you name your car, you have a better bond and it is less likely to explode or implode while you’re casually driving along. Yes, I am also terrified of that really happening.
I named my kidney Ralph. Ralph got his name because one time in high school, I had a kidney infection, and I felt like when I was healing that I needed to let Ralph know that I really was taking all my antibiotics so he would heal. I needed to talk to him through the infection, or else he would have thought he was a goner.
I have a recurring stress cold sore. It’s really gross, I know, but when I get really stressed out OR when the weather drastically changes I get a cold sore. Same spot each time. I named him Lupert. When you have a hideous cold sore on your face there is nothing worse, because you can’t put make up on it, and you need to constantly put abreva on it, so not only are you NOT hiding it, you’re totally drawing attention to it. I decided to name Lupert and introduce him to my friends and family, that way when he hung out with us for 2 weeks. They’d be less disgusted to see he was still there. Now he is kind of like a relative from out of town.
Linus is my car. I named Linus, because as I stated before I am terrified he will magically explode, and so when I am driving home (no joke) I talk to him. We chat about traffic, sometime I am asking if he has a flat tire or if it’s just the road. It took a while for me to trust Linus, since my last vehicle Vern let his tire fly off on the freeway, Vern and I had a really shaky relationship after that. So much so, that I had to sell him.
I named my stomach Otis. I have tons of stomach issues including horrible cramping, so now I can sit there while I’m up at night with stomach pains, and just let Otis know I’m awake too, he’s not the only one affected. Sometimes I just smother Otis with a heating pad, and punch him. I really do actually reprimand my stomach, by squeezing him. Not punching, but he needs to know it’s not cool.
I have several other object/ organs that I have named. I once had a friend tell me that he thought we could have a whole conversation with things I have named, and it would sound like code. It kind of is code I guess? What about you guys? Do you name your kidneys?
