Thank goodness, I managed to put the brakes on. I did what I often do when I'm desperate - I pulled out my paint and brushes. This is the result:
While voices in my head cried I can't, I painted and pondered. I stared at what I had done so long that eventually the words settled inside me and I believed that I could.
Another thing happened that helped me through. A good friend called out of the blue. On her own initiative, she'd dug around and uncovered some resources for people with eating disorders. She had found local support I could access, made phone calls and found new websites that might help me. Her call came right in a moment of despair. It's so hard to pull myself out of the deep when I'm sunk, and her thoughtfulness made me feel so much better. Having someone that cares makes the world of difference.
xx
