So you know those books If You Give A Pig a Pancake or If You Give A Mouse a Cookie? Well, I’ve been reading those for over six years to my children. This past weekend, it became very obvious that I could write one myself. I would call it, If You Give a Toddler a Walkie Talkie…
I’m not sure it’s going to hit the New York Times bestseller list or anything, but I’ll give it a shot.
If You Give A Toddler a Walkie Talkie
If You Give A Toddler a Walkie Talkie, he’s going to ask you to play with him.
When you agree to play with him, he’s not going to let you teach him how to use the thing.
When you try to teach him how to use the thing, he’s going to screech and abruptly pull his arm away.
When he pulls his arm away, he’s going to catch the end of his walkie talkie on your shirt.
When he catches the walkie talkie on your shirt, he’s going to fall down.
When he falls down, he’s going to cry.
When he cries, he’s going to let you help him up.
When he gets up, he’s going to again ask you to play walkie talkies.
When you start to show him how to talk into the walkie talkie, he’ll say, “I know, I know” and start to run upstairs.
When he runs upstairs, he won’t stop holding down the damn button and won’t be able to hear you.
When he isn’t able to hear you, he’ll start to yell.
When he starts to yell, you’ll want to teach him how to use the walkie talkie.
While you are trying to teach him how to use the walkie talkie, he’ll lie to you and say he understands.
When he once again doesn’t let go of the button, he will throw it down the stairs.
When he throws it down the stairs, he will start to cry again.
When he cries again, you’ll want to get a flask.
When you can’t get a flask, you’ll want to cry with him.
And chances are, if you both are crying, you’ll probably want to play walkie talkies to cheer you up.
