Irresolute Resolutions?

Every time, around the end of a year, I suddenly get the feeling that I should do something in my life. A strange feeling since, normally, I feel that living it is sufficient to justify a life. When the thought gets too strong for me - which, thankfully, it does not do every year - I, too, indulge in the annual pastime of Homo Sapiens. I make resolutions.
Last year was one such year when I made resolutions. I resolved, for one, to do a lot more traveling instead of being attached to my bed as though stuck on by Fevikwik. That I eventually did a lot of traveling had nothing much to do with me. I would, probably, have done all my traveling in Google maps but for the fact that others decided my programs for me causing me to surgically remove myself from my bed and run around the country. Failing all those people, who got married and did sundry other such dangerous things merely in order to bestir me from my bed, I would probably have failed in this resolution.
And what was that about weight? Something about losing a few kilos of weight? Hmm! Why the dratted thing would keep sticking around my body, I do not know. I am really not to blame there you know! I mean, there are some resolutions which you expect the world to do something about. What can I do if the world, far from getting down to editing my silhouette, keeps shoving pastries and marriage feasts at me?
Another thing I resolved was to write. Write copiously enough to be able to proudly call myself "Author C. Suresh" instead of the mundane "C. Suresh" I make do with now. THAT never happened. Oh! I always woke up in the morning full of enthusiasm about all the writing that I was going to do. The only problem was that to do my best job of writing I would need a cuppa first. After that, one needs to give the caffeine time to work, so I relax with a book till the brain got stirred up. Before I knew it, I was hungry and being hungry is not the best of ways to start writing deathless prose. Anyone knows that, after a good meal, you feel torpid so it was back to the book. A bit of dozing and, shucks, it is already lunchtime. Meals require digestion and back it is to TV, this time. Before I know it, it was evening. Too late to write all that I wanted, and to have the flow obstructed in between would spoil the effort. So, I get back to thinking up all the wonderful things that I would write tomorrow!
I had also set myself a target for my blog. I wanted to hit 350 posts in 2014. As usual, the damn thing kept slipping and slipping, leaving me to scramble to finish it in December. At least one resolution was kept, at last!
THIS year I intend making resolutions that I can not only keep but outperform.
1. I shall PUT ON a minimum of two kilograms of additional weight.
2. I shall write NO MORE than 200 words a day.
3. I shall NOT stay off my bed for more than 4 hours a day.
NOW, I am sure I shall come out with a far better report card, next year!