I once did an exercise for a leadership coach where he asked me to write out a vivid description of my ideal life in the future. It was one of those visioning-things, which is supposed to force you to come to grips with your enormous potential for achieving super-sized goals in life.
I obediently wrote it all down, and upon reading it, my leadership coach simply said, “It all sounds very nice, but where’s the fun in this?”
“Fun?” I replied with a twisted neck. ”You didn’t say anything about fun! My future is serious business, man!”
He caught me.
Apparently, I was taking my career far too seriously. I had to go back and rewrite it with a greater emphasis on having fun in life.
“How would you define fun?” I asked before he left. I wanted to make sure that I got it right.
This was not a good sign.
For some reason I had gotten into the bad habit of downplaying the lighter side of life, spending far too much time thinking about all of my responsibilities, my work, and the infinite number of chores and errands that must get done when I get home. If ever I tried to relax a bit, that abusive little voice in my head would tell me what a slacker I am.
“You can’t leave work already! It’s only been 10 hours today!“
“Don’t even think about taking a nap! Do you honestly think Jack Welsh ever took a nap? Now there was a real leader!”
“Put down that book! You could be working on your next blog post!”
I’m not at all sure where this comes from. Perhaps it’s just the wet towel-snap of the good old Protestant work ethic. Or possibly it came from that ill-tempered swim coach I had when I was ten years old:
“I have a cramp, coach! Can I take a breather for a few minutes? Pl- ea-hea-hease?”
“Get back in there and swim it off, you panty-waist!” he would bark back at me from the pool deck. “And give me another 500 yards, right now!”
Or, maybe it’s a backlash of guilt from actually slacking off and avoiding all labor whatsover from the time I was 15 until I was 23.
In any case, I was sitting down with my wife the other day looking at the summer calendar. We were making sure we had all the obligations taken care of, and other than our sacred one-week family vacation, there wasn’t much recreation to speak of. Watching the entire summer unfolding before me in a scattering of scribbles over three calendar pages, I stopped short and said, “Where’s the fun in this? It’s summer, for goodness sake!”
Unless we take some initiative to plan for some fun activities, the whole summer will go by in a flash. Then I’ll find myself sitting there one day in the Autumn chill wondering where it all went.
So why not engineer a more enjoyable summer? All I need to do is apply that same vigorous work ethic to the prospect of having more fun! I’ll show those staunch-mouthed Protestants.
I did exactly that, and here’s what’s on deck so far: A Radiohead concert for the entire family; a weekend in New York City; A getaway to New England so we can eat at our favorite fried clam restaurant; a cooking class; and lots of forced down time at home to do nothing but read and relax.
I’m already starting to have fun, just thinking about it.
