It’s always the final straw that gets me. I feel like I’ve dealt with a lot today but that I’m over it and then something else happens.
I didn’t do well with following the two verses I spoke of earlier. I was insecure and petty. I judged people in my mind and STILL didn’t get my school work done. I hate that! I hate that part of me is still the stupid person that I was when I was eighteen.
I know what I want to do after school but I need to graduate and if I don’t start doing better then I’m not going to. None of my classes have marks in, although I have at the end of this week, and if I do well on another test next week I’ll be at least passing my hardest class. So why do I feel so terrible?
I don’t like aspects of my personality. I look young and I feel like that’s made me behave immaturely because people expect it. I don’t what to do expect pray. I want to start over but I’m sure how to. I would be doing God a disservice if I said that he hadn’t already changed me for the better, but I want to be even better than I am. I want to always treat people like they’re ME, not like they’re other people. I want to get done everything I need to and then focus on writing, not wasting time. I guess God wants me to do this, too. Maybe that’s why I’m going through this right now: God’s trying to make me into a better person. Well, I better keep that journey going by logging off and dealing with the mess of laundry on my bed.
