In the country I live in, men are easily the
fairer sex. Everything they do is the norm. Just by being male, they earn the right
to exercise control over their female counterparts. From the time they attain
their teenage, by some mysterious ways of nature they turn expert critics of a female’s
appearance – they do not hesitate to pass unwanted comments at a passing
female -about her clothes, hairdo,
pimples, lipsticks, the way she walks and many more embarrassing topics. Girls never point back that the superior gender looks damn funny when they walk with their arms slightly lifted from their torso as if they have two big puss filled boils in their armpits. Or that it is not so masculine to smell like sweat. Or that it is not cool to brag about the supposed infallibility – the you-must-be-joking-how-can-I-be-wrong syndrome and about the inefficaciousness at household works – you-want-me-to-cut-the-vegetable-homogeneously-you-must-be-joking syndrome.
Since they are the alpha species, I try to refrain from commenting when I see someone turning up in office unshaven, wearing dirty shoes, sporting fingernails with accumulated dirt or hair that resembles a lion’s mane. They are male, so, such fallacies are tolerable.
But then I lose my temper sometimes when a male colleague comes trolling (?) with his wedding card and invites me to come and pay homage to the sacrifice he would be making by getting married.
Something snaps inside me. What do you mean? Sacrifice?
Yeah. You know no freedom, no drinking, tantrums, and emotional dramas. A toothy smile follows.
Why are you getting married then?
Family pressure yaar!
Is it?
Yes. What else? Mom wants somebody here to take care of me. I live here alone na?
Oh so you are getting married because you need to be taken care of? Are you crippled?
No yaar! See that’s why I didn’t want to discuss this with you. I always knew you are a feminist type.
Needless to say, this statement was not the end of the argument.
But the sad thing is, he was not the only one who
think this way. My question is why get married then? Why do they need wives
if they consider them to be destructive of their personal space? For the
purposes they cite, hiring a maid seems enough to me.
Also where the hell does the notion of losing the freedom come from? It is not even funny if that’s what it’s supposed to be! A guy never has to leave his house in order to get married. It may sound cliché but true nevertheless. A guy is never judged based on his capability of cooking delicious meals or on the degree of perfection with which he performs the household chores. A guy is never questioned about his working hours. Nobody reminds him that now that he is married he must give priority to his family. A guy is never required to put his aspirations on hold after marriage. And yet it’s them who lose the freedom after marriage.
A girl on the other hand, has to come to a completely new house, among new people. And immediately she is expected to make those unknown people her family. So much so, that, now she is expected to put her in-laws' interest first rather than her own parents – They-have-sent-you-off-now-this-is-your-home-and-not-that. Her every move is monitored. Her each spoken/unspoken word is judged. And yet she never complains of losing freedom.
Grow up guys! Stop being boys and be men! Or rather stop being just male and be humane. Appreciate that you are getting married to your life partner and not a free maid servant. Appreciate that the house will again be a home. Appreciate all the sacrifices she makes to make the home a happy one. And remember appreciating DOES NOT mean giving expensive gifts on anniversaries or birthdays.
And if you still like to continue being a jerk, trust me, the world is better off with you remaining unmarried. One less kid will grow up seeing such an a*****e of a father.
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Riot of Random
