Pt. 1 Jared and Miki before we were Jare Hound and Mikles.I can't really tell our story from Jared's point of view so I will try and tell it the best and most fair that I can from my point of view. Before Jared and I met, I had just barely graduated. I was just hitting that college girl phase in my life, where I wanted to be surrounded by tons of single girls, flirt as much as possible, and go to every party and get together that we could find. I still lived at home, and decided my first year of college I was only going to take 4 classes.
This left me with a lot of time to just hang out and kind of go through this phase of self discovery. I almost felt like I had too much time on my hands, but for the first time I felt like I had time. I wasn't so worried about grades, and papers that I could go out and stay out as late as I wanted. Which is a bad and good thing. That first year of college I had a really hard time making it to classes, but I also was having a blast. I feel like everyone needs that year or couple years where they can let loose and decide to be whomever they please.
If you have read me he&me page, then you know that I had been dating a fellow. I call it pretend dating. I was so head over heels in love with L. He has always been in my life, and I always had a crush on him. It started out as me thinking my friends older brother was hot, and as I got older, he started to see me as less of "my sisters friend". {L's little sister and I on our senior trip in Mexico}
We kind of had silly crushes, and liked each other all through high school. Right after I graduated, he and I started to hang out. He was a few years older than me, and started to introduce me to his friends. I got along with everyone of his friends so well. I thought that we were going to be that perfect couple, that married each other after 10 years in the making. We'd have photos of us together hanging in our house, from when we were missing our front teeth. I started to make-up this perfect relationship. When in reality it wasn't that serious. We weren't even a couple. He was my only choice, but I wasn't his. He had lots of priorities that came before me. I would drop anything to hang out with him.
After a few months of this dramatic roller coaster my friends started to realize he and I were not this all out awesome couple. Somedays I'd hang out with him until 4am, and then we wouldn't talk for 5 days, and pictures would pop up on Facebook where he was with other girls. Keep in mind, I really was a bit delusional about the relationship. He was very honest with me, and there was a reason we weren't together, but I wanted him so badly that I just kept waiting around for him. Thinking that he would want to be my boyfriend.
I made sure that all his friends were my friends. I didn't have to try too hard, because I really did get along with all of them. Many of them I had knew prior to L and I. They'd gone to school with me, or I had known them from growing up around the same places. I really enjoyed the up's on this bumpy roller coaster, because I always had something to do. There was always somebody texting me to go out somewhere.
I started to realize that L and I weren't and item, and decided that I needed to stop waiting for him, and start dating. I really enjoyed dating. I have always been a huge flirt, and I loved it when I could tell a guy was interested in me. I started to leave the idea of L and I behind. I had to leave a lot of places that were my comfort zone, because I had already been labeled. Everyone knew that L and I were "together" or dating. I was in the friend zone there. I started over, and found old connections which brought me new friends. I started to find guys who were really interested in me, and wanted to take me out on dates. I went on many dates, and enjoyed all of them. But none of them really felt right. I just knew I was looking for something else.
I didn't know what I was looking for, but I knew I hadn't found it.
{part 2 continued tomorrow}
