Bored of same repeated jokes? Then you are at right place.We have most updated funny hindi jokes which will definitely make you laugh.
1.U r 100% beautiful, U r 100% lovely, U r 100% sweet, U r 100% nice, and U r 100% stupid to believe these words.
2.
Ek aadmi kabar par betha tha. Musafir ne pucha, dar nahi lagta ? Aadmi:darne ki kya baat hai….? Ander garmi lag rahi thi to bahar aa gaya….!!!!
3.
Jo sagar ne kaha lehron se, Jo ped ne kaha patto se, Jo phoolon ne kaha kaliyon se, Wohi main tumhe kehta hun,
Ae chal chal hawa aane de
4.
Din ko chain nahi, Raat ko aaram nahi, Jee na lage kahin, Ae-khuda, kya yahi pyar hai? .. .. .. .. .. NALAYAK! Yeh pyar nahi garmi ki shuruwat hai.
5.
Dad to Son : When I beat u how do u control your anger. son: I start cleaning toilet. Dad: how does that satisfy you? Son: I clean with ur tooth brush. ……..best hindi joke
6.
SMS karne mein kitna maza aata hai, lekin dil ghabrata hai, kyunke balance jata hai, lekin asal maza tab aata hai,
jab kanjoos logon se SMS ka jawab aata hai…
7.
Fizao ke badalne ka intazar nahi karte, Andhiyo ke rukne ka intazar nahi karte, SMS kar dete hai hum har roz, Hum kanjus ke sms ka intazar nahi karte.
8.
Bewakuf, Murakh, Matlabi, Dhokhebaz, Chugalkhor, Besharam, Jhuthe, Badtamiz, Mokaparast, Pakhandi, ALLAH apko inn sabhi tarah ke logon se door rakhe.
9.
Koi patthar se na maare mere diwane ko … Koi patthar se na maare mere diwane ko … Bomb ka zamana hai yaaron … Udaa do saale ko.
10.Jab Jab hume pyaas lagti hai, unke aane ki aas lagti hai , unki dewangi mein hum ho gaye itne dewane, Ki har ladki ki maa apni saas lagti hai
11.
Pyaar vyar to ek bahana hai, Aankhen milana mila lips ko milana hai, Yehi style hai sab ashiqon ka kya kare yaar. Raj kapur ka nahi Imran Hashmi ka zamana hai
12.
Mere jaise ladke ko kya chahiye? 1 Ladki jo pyar de. 1 Ladki jo achha khana banaye. 1 Ladki jo paisa kamaye. Aur aisa nasib ke tino ladkiyan ek dusre se mil na paaye.
13.
A girl says to her boyfriend, One kiss and I’ll be yours forever. The guy says, thanks for the warning!
14.
I always think about U. I can’t live without U. I really need U. I’m totally mad about U. I just wanna be with U. I’m crazy 4 U. I wanna marry U. I LOVE U. Aisa muje bajuwali kehti hai…
15.
Kya leker aye the? Kya leker jaoge? Mujhe sms nahi kar ke kitne paise bachaoge? Itne paise bachaker kya… Heaven mein bangla banaoge?
16.
Hum dua karte hain khuda se, Ki wo aap jaisa dost aur na banaye, Ek CARTOON jaisi cheez hai humare paas, Kahin wo bhi common na ho jaye
17.
Chand pe kali ghata to aati to hogi, Sitaaron ko muskurahat aati to hogi, Tum laakh chupao duniya se magar, Akele mein tumhe apni shakal pe hassi aati to hogi.
18.
Chinti ko haati ne chheda. Chinti gussey mein hatini ke paas gai aur boli: Apney haati ko samjhao… warna Warna… Warna… Warna… Hamare ghar mai bhi mard rehte hain.
19.
Question : Why do girls close their eyes while kissing a guy? Guess… Guess… Answer : Yeh ladkiyan ladko ko kabhi khush nahi dekh sakti.
20.
Pyaar na kare wo dil kis kam ka, Dosti na kare wo insan kis kam ka, Ye Dabla to sab le ke ghumte hai, Jo SMS na kare wo mobile kis kam ka.
21.
Manzil ki taraf badte chalo Jo dil kahe woh raha chalo Peche walo ko aage na jane do Jo aage hai unse aur aage niklo . . . Tabhi tum ek achhe rickshawale ban sakte ho 100%
22.
Premi : Bewafa tune mera dil jalakar rakh kar diya. Premika : Ae mere kurban ashiq teri kurbani bekar nahi jayegi, rakh ghar bhej de bartan majne ke kam aayegi.
23. Do you want Nokia N90 at Rs. 199/- only with FREE SIM card & 1000 SMS and 750 T.T. Free? – – – – – Then – – – – – You have to.. – – – – – Just log on to [email protected]
24.
Phoolon se khoobsurat koi nahi. Sagar se gahera koi nahi. Aab aapki kya tarif karu. Dost me aap jaisa Nalayak koi nahi!
25.
Lamha lamha waqt guzar jayega, Chand lamhon mein exam aa jayega, Aab bhi waqt hai, do line padh lo, Warna pass kya munna bhai karvayega?
26.
Girl: Iss dress ka kya price hai? Shopkeeper: Sirf 5 kiss. Girl: Aur uss dress ka? Shopkeeper: 10 kiss. Girl: Dono dress pack kar do, bill daadi dengi.
27.
Heaven is when u have: A german car, American salary, Chinese food & Indian wife! Hell is when: Car is chinese, Food is german, Wife is american & Salary is indian!
28.
I thought of suicide, Went to railway tracks but Got Ur sms and after reading I thought to be alive, U inspired me because If a useless person like U is alive, why should I die.
29.
Shayed mere pyaar ko Taste karna bhool gaye Dil se aisa cut kiya Ke paste karna bhool gaye. Laakhon honge nigaah mein Kabhi mujhe bhi pick karo Mere pyaar ke icon pe Kabhi to double-click karo Roz subha hum karte hain Pyaar se unhe good morning Woh aise ghoor ke dekti hain Jaise 0 errors aur 5 warning Aisa bhi nahi hai ke I don’t like your face Par dil ke storage mein No more disk space Ghar se jab tum nikle Pehen ke reshmi gown Jaane kitne dilon ka Ho gaya server down.
…………………Best intelligent joke in hindi
30.
Poonam ki raat mein chand badal jata hai, Waqt k sath insan badal jata hai, Sochte hai k apko tang na kare, Magar sochte sochte plan badal jata hai.
31.
Ek jaam ulfat ke naam, Ek jaam mohabbat ke naam, Ek jaam wafa ke naam, Puri bottle bewafa ke naam, Aur pura bill doston ke naam.
32.
Mohabbat karle, karle Jawani baar baar nahi aati, Pyaar ek hi baar hota hai, Kyuki badi bimaari baar baar nahi aati.
33.
Bewafa se kabhi pyaar nahi hota, Marne kai baad intizaar nahi hota, Dosti karo to zara dakh kar karna, Har koi hamari tarha,
Cool, sweet and smart nahi hota.
34.
Doctor ne aadmi se pucha… Kya aap aur aapki biwi ka khoon ek hi hai? Aadmi ne kaha… Kyun nahi? Zarur hoga! Pachaas saal se mera hi khoon pi rahi hai na.
35.
Lips Bhindi ki taraah, Gaal Tamatar ki taraah, Eyes Matar ki taraah, Poora Face Gobih ki taraah, Ya Allah Ek hi Dost diya, Wo bhi Subji Mandi ki taraah !!!
36.
Na pyar, na yaar, Na mohabbat, na dosti yaro, Aaj ke ye devdas ki bat mano, Na chandra-mukhi, na paro, Bas har ladki ko line maro.
37.
Sweet insult!!
Ek ladka gadhe ke samne gir gaya.
Ek khubsurat ladki ne dekha aur kaha apne bade bhai ka pair chhu rahe ho kya?
Ladka : ji bhabhiji.
38.
Santa: Station jaane k kitne logay?
Rikshawala: 50
Santa: 20 lelo
Riksha: 20 main kon le k jaayeega?
Santa: tum piche bheto hum leke jaayega
39.
2 boys with Sardar where going on a Motor cycle.
Policeman gives hand to stop.
Sardar shouted oye pehle hi teen bhete hai tu kaha bethega…!
40.
Santa: Oye tu har sms Do dafa q karta H?
Banta : Taaki tu 1 Forward kar de to doosra tere pas rahay yaar!
41.
School mein Master ji ne chote santa se poocha:
Jisme koyi kami nahi usko kya kehte hai.?
aur jawab aayi:
.
.
.
.
.
Kami- na
Ek Kaam Kar Yaar. .
Tu Na. .
.
.
Is Msg Ko Delete Kar De
is Me Kuch Nahi Hai
42.
Mummy: Kyon Rota hai mera Sona?
Kids: Dad Ne Mujhe Kiss Nahi Di.
Mummy: Tumne Tables Nahi Sunaye Hon Gey.
.
.
Kids: Kaamwali Ko Kon Se Tables Aatey Hain?
43.
Santa went to Battery Shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga doon Sir?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya be….
44.
Ek Raat,
ek Chor,
ek Sardar k Ghar me Ghus gaya aur bola: SONA kaha hai?
Sardar: Ullu k patthe,
pura Ghar khaali hai kahi bhi jaake SOJA
45.
Sardar Dukhi Tha
Kisi Ne Pucha: Kyu Tension Me Ho?
Sardar: Yaar Ek Dost Ko plastic Surgery K Liye 2 Lakh Diye,
Ab Saale Ko Pehchan Nahi pa raha hu
46.
1 Over me Kitne Balls Peke Jate hai
Kya apne kaha 6?
Galat jawab
1 over me 1 hi ball 6 bar feka jata he
Bade aye!
Cricket k shokeeeen!
47.
Bittu: I sent Love letters to my Girl Friend everyday for 2 years !
Chotu : Then what happenned ?
Bittu : She Married the ‘Postman’
48.
A Sardar was working 1st time in a garment shop.
A customer girl asked:
Underwear dikhana plz.
Sardar thora sharmakar:
G aaj nahi pehni.
49.
Santa asks Banta: Tujay larki phasani aati hai?
Banta: Nahi..!
Santa: Nahi aati to seekh le..
Pehle ek kaagaz ka jahaaz bana..
Phir usay class mein ura..
Mam k puchne par..larki ka naam lagade..
BAS PHAS GAI LARKI . . .
50.
Jaan Leva Ishq-
College me mera haath pakar kar boli ki saat janam tak tumhara saath naa chhorugi sathiya
College Gate se apne Baap aur Bahi ko aate dekh kar boli kamine kisko pooch kar pakra mera haath
51.
Boy: I love you baby
Girl: I Have already a boyfriend
He: Olx pe bech de
Purana jayega, tabhi to naya aayega
52.
Husband – mere paas proof hai tumhara chakkar parosan ke sath hai
Husband- kaya proof hai batoo??
Wife- Uska husband Kal raat tumhara underwear pahankar aya tha
53.
Jailor To Tailor:
1000 Pants Aur 999 Shirts Silvake Bhej Dena.
Tailor:
Jailorsahab Ye Ek Shirt Kam Kyu..?
Jailor;
Shalmann Khann Aa Raha Hain Na!!!
54.
Kitna lucky hoga wo boyfriend
Jo Apni girlfriend Se Yeh Sunta Hoga….
Jaanu Tum Phone Cut Karo Na,
Main tumko call back karti hun..
55.
GF 2 BF bahot attitude hai tum me
BF – Attitude to bachpan se Hai
Jab me peda huwa tha
to ded saal mene kisi se baat nahi ki the ……….funny hindi joke
56.
Mummy-beta paper kesa tha?
Beta-Patla saa tha, white color ka
…
Mummy gusse me-de thappar de thappar par thappar
kamine tune kuch nahi lika hoga exam me nalayak
Jinte Jildi ladko ko love ho jata hai
utni jaldi ladki ye bhi decide nahi kaar pati hai
.
.
Dark lipstick lagani hai ya light
57.
Log pata Nhi Kaise propose kar dete Hain
Mujhe To Pani-Puri Khane K Bad,
Papdi Mangne Me Bhi Sharam Aa Jati Hai
58.
Aajkal Ke ladko Ko Kya Pata Struggle Kya Hai ??
Hum Ne Wo Time Bhi Dekha Hai Jab.
Mobile Me “S” Type Karne K Liye..
“7” K Button Ko 4 Baar Dabana Padta Thaa
59.
BF 2 GF- girl Love Marriage Q Karti Ho?
Gf: Anjaan Namoona Milne Se To Achaa Hai,
Jaana Pehchana Kamina Mil Jaye.
60.
Tinku: 1 Manf0rce Dena.
Dukandaar: Tum To Masterjee K Bete Ho na?
Tinku: Mentos Bola Mentossssssss,
1-2 Vicks vi De Dena Gala Kharab H
Medicine ka naam bhi nahi nikal raha thik se.
61.
Yoga Madam:- Dear students!!
Batao Mai Ek Paav Par Kab Aur.
Kyo Khadi Rehti Hu ??
.
Student:- Nahane Ke Baad Chaddi Pahane Ke Time…
62.
Rahul Gandhi Kehte Hai,
“Congress Koi Party Nahi, Ek Soch Hai”
Aur
Vidya Balan Kehti Hai,
“Jahan Soch Hai, Wahan Shouchalay Hai”
Bahut Confusion Hai Bhai Sahab!!
63.
Girlfriend bnane ke baad he
athiktar logo ka pata chalta hai ki
100 rupye se uper ki vi chocolate aati hai
64.
Husband driving Car At Very High Speed:
Dekhi Meri Speed darling??
&
Achanak Car Band Ho Gai..
Biwi Hasne Lagi
Husbnd: Kya Huaa??
Biwi: Kuchh Nahi, Kal Rat Ki Yad Aagai..
65.
2 Larkiyon Ko 5 Saal Ki Saza Mili.
Dono 1 Hi Room Mai 5 Saal Guzarnay Ke Bad
Jab Ghar Janay Lagii To…
.
.
.
.
.
1 Larki Boli.
Chal Thikk Hai Baakii Baten Mobile Per Kartey Hain.
66.
Kid 2 Mom: 20 Rs Dena,
Bahar 1 Garib Ko Dene Hen.
Mom: Kaha Hai Garib?
Kid:Bechra Bahar Dhup Me,
Icecream Bech Raha Hai mummy……..
67.
Ek angrej hindi sikhne ke liye india aaya
30 din yahi raha,
finally usne 2 baate sikhi:”
1. Bigli aa gayi.
2. phir chali gayi…
68.
Explaining Friends –
Difference Between Shitt & Ohh Shitt.
A Boy Threw A Love Letter To A Girl,
And Fell Near Her Brother !
Shittt !
And His Brother Was A Gay Oh Shitt.
69.
Very very funny shayari by thief-
Mobile ke night plans ne to hume,
Bhuka maar diya hai dosto,
Jis ghar mein chori k liye jao,
Koi na koi aashiq jag raha hota hai..
70.
Husband : Yaar, Main Koi Bhi Kaam Karta Hu,
To Meri Biwi bich me Aa Jati Hai
Friend : Yaar,
Tu Truck Chalaa Kar Dekh,
Shaayad Qismat Saath De De…!
“Try Your Best Luck”
71.
Just 4 my cute friends only
Why Do Popcorn Jump When It Is In The Stove?
Why?
Why?
Very curiors na……..
You Sit On The Stove And Then See Why It Will Jump
72.
1 ladke Ne Red Fm Radio Pe Phone Kiya
Ladka : Mujhe Ek bag Mila Hai,
Jisme 20000 Cash.
Samsung Galaxy S6
1 Credit Card Aur
Richa gupta Ke Naam Ka Id Mila Hai.
RJ: Wah… Aap Kitne Honest Hain.
Kya Aap Unhe Wo Purse Waapis Karna Chahenge.???
ladka : Nahi!!Nahi!!
Main Chahta Hu Ki Richa Gupta Ke Liye,
Ek Dard Bhara Song Ho Jaaye…..very very sad song
73.
Wife- mere humdum mere dost,
Aaj tumhari gf night stay karne aaa rahi hai !
Maine fridge mein beer &
Fresh fruit salad banake rakha h
Room freshner side table par h
Nahanay ka soap or towel bhi rakha hai,
Main baccho ko leker papa k yaha jaa rahi hoon,
Kal sham tak aajaungi,
Isko kahate hai
Ek husband ke haseen sapne!!!
74.
Chamali bhabhi ne chaat ki dukan kholi
Dukan khulte hi consumer ki line lag gayi
kyoki
Board par lika tha-
“Sirf 20 Rupye me chamali Bhabhi ki chaat lòó”
75.
Santa: Thinking….thinking…
Banta: kya soch rahe ho yaar?
Santa: ye zee news walo ko kaise pata chalta hai?
Banta: kya?
Santa: yehi ke, ‘aap dekh rahe hai zee news’
76.
Duniya me 2 kaam bahut ache hue
Ek to whatsapp aane se pehle study complete hogyi
aur dusra MAGGI band hone se pehle bachpan nikal gaya
77.
3 boys proposed a girl
1st: Mai tumhare liye
Apni jaan bhi kurbaan kaar sakta hu
Girl: Wo to sab ladke kehte hain
2nd: Mai tumhare liye
Chand taare todkar la sakta hu
Girl: very old dialog h
3rd: Main tumhari ACTIVA me Roz 2 ltr
Petrol dalwaunga
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.
.
Girl: Ankho me ansu k sath
Pagal itna chahta hai muje.
78.
Very very funny definition of latest fasion designing trend…
Wat is FASHION DESIGNING?
Too many talented Brains working on
Too little clothes with
Too many ideas on how 2 cover;
Too little areas..
To expose smartly N Boldly
79.
50% lovers love-romance kyun nahi kar pate?
1. Girlfriend nahi manti?
2. Seriousness?
3. Dono Raji nahi hote
Ans- room-space hi nahi milta!!
80.
Arz kiya hai gour kijiyega-
Mat pyar kro pardeshi se rote rote aakhe thak jayenge,
Pyar kro hmesha parosi se,
Roj balkani se darshan to ho jayenge…
……. Best hindi shayari
81.
ek ladki roj subah 10 baje per ke daal me beth jati the
aur
saam ko 6 baje utaar jati the
MBA karke paagal ho gaye the
Khud ko branch maneger samghte the………….
82.
Natkhatlal:Tum apne sailoon me
Rahasmai aur romachk books kyu rakhte ho?
Naai:inhe padhker logo ke
Baal khare ho jate hai aur
Mujhe baal katne me aasani hoti h
83.
Very motivatinal quotes ever written By dear Natkhatlal
Bachpan me Diwali ke din jaab Rocket chorte hue adbhut gayaan mila tha
Aasman chune ke liye bottle bahut jaruri
84.
Teacher – Who is very patient person in world?
Santa- Sunny Leonee Cameraman sir answered very confidently
Teacher-Super intelligent student jara mere paas ana
phir kaya teacher de thappar pe thappar….
85.
Banta road se gujar raha tha,
achanak
usne jhuk kar road se kuch uthaya
or
jor se chillaya….
Kamine
poti v aise karte hai jaise SAMOSA pada ho.
…………kids hindi joke
86.
Usey pane ki koi aas nahi hai
audience : lagta, hai gaheri chot khayi hai….
Ki Use pane ki koi aas nahi hai
Vjah yeh bhi hai, woh dikhne mai kuch khas nhi hai
audience : wah wah…
Use pane ki koi aas nahi hai
Vajah yeh bhi hai, woh dikhne mai kuch khas nahi hai
aur gold medalist hoti to shayad chal jata,
kambakht woh ek bhi subject mai pas nahi hai………
Aur bhi cheezain bahut see lut chuki hain dil ke sath
Ye btaya dosto ne ishq frmane ke baad;
Is liye kamre ki ek ek cheez “check” krta hu main”
Ek tere ane se pehle, ek tere jane ke baad”(wah-wah)
………………..best Hindi shayari
87.
msg pe msg bhejte ho
bhej bhej kar bheja kharab karte ho
bhejte bhi ho to kya bhejte ho
khud ka bheja chalta nahi
dusro ka bheja bhej te ho…..
88.
jawani ke din chamkile ho gaye,
husn ke tevar nukeele ho gaye,
hum ijhar karne me thode dhele ho gaye,
aur udhar unke hath peele ho gaye!.
89.
Judge: why r u arrested?
Sardar: for shopping early?
Judge: well, that is not a crime,
anyway how early were u shopping?
Sardar: before opening the shop
…..Best hindi sms
90.
Wife:What is 10 years with me?
Husband:A second.
Wife:What is $1000 for me?
Husband:A coin.
Wife: Ok give me a coin.
Husband:Wait a second
91.
If I was an artist,
you would be my picture!
If I was a poet,
you would be my inspiration!
If I was an author you would be my story!
But I’m only a cartoonist!
92.
If your father is a poor man,
It is your fate but,
If your father-in-law is a poor man,
it’s your stupidity.
93.
Evolution of MAN:
Without Shadi SPIDER MAN,,,
Shadi ke waqt SUPERMAN,,,
Shadi ke baad GENTLEMAN,,,
Aur BIWI Khubsurat ho to saari umar WATCHMAN.
94.
Machar ne eik aadmi ko din main kaat liya
Aadmi: tum to raat main kaat-te ho din main kyun kaata?
Machar: ghar k halaat kharab hain,
“overtime laga raha hoon.”
95.
Kid: Aunty Mummy Nay cheeni Maangi Hai
Aunty: cheeni Detay Huway,Acha Aur kya kaha Mummy Nay?
Kid: Ager Wo kameeni Na Day, Tou Pinky Aunty say Lay Aana
96.
Girl: Hum Kaha Ja Rahe He..?
Boy: Long Drive Par..!!
Girl: Pahle Kyun Nhi Bataya..?
Boy: Mujhe B Abhi Pata Chala Jub Break Nai Lag rahe.
97.
1 night a boy helped a unknown aunty to reach her home.
Aunty:beta, raat bahut ho gayi hai yahi so jao , bittu ke room me.
Boy:nahi aunty, mai yahi hall me so jaunga.
Next morning a beautiful girl come with a cup of coffee.
Boy:aap kaun?
Girl:mai bittu. aur aap?
Boy:Mai gadha, kutta, ullu ka pattha.
98.
1 Kunwari Ladki Ko Bacha Ho Gaya.
Uss Ke Baap Ne Poocha Ki Yeh Kiss KaBacha
Hai?
Ladki : Papa Missed Call to sab He Marte The,
Pata nahi Kis ki call receive ho gayi?
99.
Sonu-Yaar,English Me ‘Jhopdi’ Ko Kya Kehte He
Monu-Hutt
Sonu-Abe,English Aati Nhi To Saaf Saaf Bol Na..hutt hutt kaya bol rahe ho
100.
Sardar:- Bhai Saheb 2 Ticket Dena,
Cndctor:- 2 Q ?
Sardar:- 1 Kho Jaye To Dusri Kaam Ayegi,
Conductor:- Dono Kho Gayi To ?
Sardar:- Fir Sala Pass Kis Din Kam Aayega.
