I decided to write this to my ex girlfriend. I don’t know why, but i do want for us to be mutual friends. I don’t know if it’ll happen or not, I guess that’s up to her. I slid this under her door at noon today (I think she was in uni at the time), and so right now I’m guessing she has read it…
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Hey [ex], it’s -Harper.
Please take the time to read this.
I have learnt that talking to people will get me no where, and writing is the best way I can convey my deep thoughts to anyone.
I write this to you because I don’t want us to be strangers as time goes on. I have no alterior motives; I have no intention of getting back together with you.
As you know, I acted irrationally on several accounts within the past few months. For my actions, I had reasons of which at the time seemed perfectly valid to me, but not to anyone else. However, I could not think clearly. I was not ready for a relationship, and so I definitely was not ready for a breakup.
As for the matter of you feeling controlled by me even after the relationship, it was entirely unintentional.
I confided in [Emily], specifically telling her to not inform anyone else of my private thoughts on you and [John], which was driven entirely by jealousy. I knew that the moment would pass, but [Emily] relayed my private thoughts to other people.
I was jealous – extremely jealous due to the fact that [John] was spending time with you and I wasn’t. It was only natural though, but even though I did not act upon those feelings, you still somehow felt controlled. At that time, my feelings for you had not gone away.
Now, I can safely say they have.
You may wonder the reasons of which I would want us to keep the lines of communication open, or if possible, for us to be friends. Back in High School, I always wanted my ex girlfriend(s) and I to remain friends, especially my first. I still want to now.
I don’t care how other people say exes should not contact each other ever again. That is not what I believe.
A reply would be nice, and I hope you can put aside the past.
-Harper
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I don’t know how she would feel about this. The last time I spoke to her (3 weeks ago), she hated me. She has not replied or given me anything (she has my cellphone number, and knows where my room is since we live in the same residential hall). I don’t know if she will, but like anyone else, I am scared of rejection. It would hurt me if she never gave me a reply or anything, but I guess that’s up to her.
I hope everything works out. I would hate it for my ex and I to be strangers and sever all lines of communication.
[I have used fake names to keep the people's identity private]
