I hope you don't have to read this letter for another sixty or more years but if you are reading it soon, it means I am dead and the bad people murdered me. I hope to god they don't but if you are reading this I am now an angel above you.
I want you to know that I always loved all of you exactly the same and am so thankful I met your Dad and bless him every day for letting me have you enter my life. True, we got separated, but that never stopped me from loving you four every minute of my waking hours.
I love each one of you for who you are and have always loved you no matter what. I would always take the shirt off my back for you.
Maybe sometimes it may have seemed that I didn't get to spend a lot of time with each of you at different days, but I always have loved you.
Maybe I should have kissed you more, but sometimes as you got older, I wasn't sure if you would be embarrassed.
If I am now that angel whose spirit comes down to spend time with you, just know that I will be kissing you and hugging you all the time. I will be beside you during the good times and the hard times.
I want nothing but good things for you and I want you all to follow your dreams. I did. Having the four of you has always been my biggest dream and my greatest accomplishment. You are remarkable because you are you. My Grammy used to say something like that.
If I am gone and Dad's new woman moves in, love her. She will never replace me, but she will now be the one who will be by your side to guide you as you will not know my presence. But know this, even though I cannot ever speak to you again, I am.
And if I am gone, I wish I could have known this new girl, as I'm sure I would have liked her very much and she very well could have been a new nice friend for me.
If I'm gone, it means my novels didn't of course get finished. My only hope would be that you share with the world who I was. I was always the one who wore my heart on my sleeve and I wanted the world to know me. Perhaps, never famous, but still talented in many ways. Keep my writings and art as it is my legacy to you.
And if these criminals murder me and the world wants to know, please share with them. But if you think something shouldn't be shared, keep the most private things to yourselves.
Last night, I felt tremendous fear being in my living room and hearing that guy up there saying, "I wish I could go into her apt. and shoot her." And then during a large part of the night he was up there with that psycho girl discussing killing me, shooting through the window as I slept on the couch. Or in my bedroom. I mixed it up.
I've been calling the cops, but they can't do anything until he breaks in or attempts. And then it could be too late.
I'm searching for a new apt. but it's hard to find one in my price range and one that will accept cats. Just know that I am looking, so I can feel comfortable in my own skin and away from them.
I love you forever, Mom. Today is Wednesday, and I thank God I am still alive. I am right now at my kids house enjoying my quiet time while my children are in school. My door is locked, as these people may now know who I am. I've got a place to run and hide in if I should see one of them pulling into the driveway. It's a big house, so it will take them some time to find me and the cops will be on their way. It was a relief to hear from the detectives that they are not cooking meth. But they are dangerous. Today, I am going to take a nap. I'm not sure where I stand with my ex boyfriend who seems to be my friend during this, but maybe not. I feel alone and scared at the same time.
The only thing I can trust in is my family, friends and my children. And I am thankful that the cops are a half a mile away from my apt and could be there in a heartbeat. But would it be in time?
This girl is all locked in, with security to the max, but it still wouldn't stop them.
Today, after my nap, I am going to work on some more chapters to The Glorious Money Tree. I'm at 96 pages right now. I'm going to watch the Today Show, Kathy Lee and Hoda Kotb and Days of Our Lives. I want to watch when Nicole gets her just desserts with Daniel. He knows now that she lost the baby before Jennifer supposedly pushed her. And if Nicole gets pregnant one more time, they need to make her actually have the baby. Enough. And tonight, we are celebrating my oldest son's birthday with a treat to Chili's. Yum. He's seventeen. One more year and he can vote. I will of course try to post on here as much as I can, but just know right now, I am stressed to the max and may be distracted as this traumatic time for me is getting in the way of my writing and my normal life.
Jennifer Jo Fay
Copyrighted November 6, 2012 Not sure if I got today's date right. I'm always the woman who gets the date wrong.
