Image courtesy of jesadaphorn FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Matchmaking has been around for a long time. Arranged marriages, considered a type of matchmaking, is in-bred in many cultures. Two sets of parents get together and decide that their children will marry one another when they are old enough. This can be for economic, political, cultural or religious reasons and it is irrelevant what the children themselves may want.
In the Eddie Murphy movie, “Coming to America“, Murphy who portrays the crown prince to the throne of a fictitious African nation is unhappy with his life. All of a sudden, his parents present him with an arranged bride-to-be who has been groomed since birth to obey the prince’s every command. When I saw this movie, my married friends said that was their utopia. I hope they were joking with me.It does seem strange since G-d made woman as a “help meet” for him. In Genesis, Chapter 2, verse 18: “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” In essence, the spouse is supposed to complement the husband, so why would they want someone to obey them? Murphy eventually finds the woman of his dreams, one who he feels does complement him and he is even prepared to give up his title to the throne for her. Cool. He can send me his money, I will keep it safe for him.
Matchmakers are different. They are supposed to connect together, two people who match one another, hence the name. In Judaism the works of matchmakers is inbound in the Ashkenazi culture. The concept of love never figures into the equation. You only have to see the movie, “Fiddler on the Roof“, to know what I am referring to.
Antiquated as it may be, it is still going on. Matchmaking today is computerized and I am not referring to sites such as Jdate.com and match.com and others. Some matchmakers or even some sites, allow you to enter all your details and they send you a list of all the possible matches. In theory, the more truthful you answer, the better the match will be. Does it work? Well, if you watched the sitcom, “How I met your mother“, you will know that in all of New York, there was only one suitable match for poor Ted Mosby and she was already hitched.
I am married now and am no longer in need of a matchmaker. However, my wife, a nice Jewish lady thinks she wants to try her hand in matchmaking. So the pressure begins. She has a few single friends, ok more than a few and she wants to set them up with my single friends. In truth, I have only one single friend, Johnny, and he has sworn off the dating game. Do not ask me why. I can understand him. It is not for the weak. Every time I was setup by one of my friends it was a total disaster. How do you go back to your friend and tell them that you have nothing in common with her friend? Even if you try and fob it off and say simply ”she is not for me”, you get the third degree; “Why? What is wrong with her?” If you don’t respond again and again; your friend either stops the futile nagging or realizes there is something wrong with you!
So my wife tried to set my friend up with her friend. She said it is a match made in heaven. She arranged a time when all four of us would be there and my friend pitched up and left almost immediately. He was nice about it saying that he had a previous engagement, but my wife has not forgiven him. She said that she had already picked out her dress for the wedding. However judging by what my wife and I went through with fix-ups, why would she want to put anyone else through that? She keeps saying, “We will match them together and let fate take over.” Ok, who is Fate and is she pretty? Maybe I should introduce Johnny to Fate? Or maybe Hope? Or maybe Charity? My wife keeps telling me that her friend is a “good girl”. What does that really mean? Kill me now!
I have now changed jobs and I am in a new company and my wife has sent me on a mission. I have to find out who all the single guys are. How do I find out who the single guys are? Just Kill me now!
