One side of my body is wearing a tightly laced corset today. During my morning yoga, a spasm went from my left shoulder to this spot in my back that is as tight as a rubber band pulled to snapping point. In my head, I tried desperately to push the thoughts of discomfort away as it was the first part of my yoga practice this morning, but little wisps of thought already went past my carefully laid defenses. I focused intently on the voice of my instructor and pushed past the spot. Listening to her speak, and breathing. Always breathing and focusing on the breath. I have become so focused on the breath that it does allow me to get through my practice even when pain sets in.
You see, I am trying to prove a ridiculous point...to myself. I am not on any of the drugs that doctors prescribe for fibromyalgia due to my underlying genetic disease hemochromatosis. One year ago in February, a rheumatologist told me he would be nervous to put me on medicine that could perhaps harm my liver. That was enough for me to decide to stay the course of all-natural supplements and work through immense pain using a series of steps I researched. You are welcome to read the tab on the top of this blog called Vitalize You. Those are some of the steps I took. I also enlisted in the help of a full functional medicine approach, and used Applied Kinesiology, which I have touched on here.
This last step is more intense yoga than I thought was possible for me. You can sit there and come up with one million and one reasons why it won't work. But if you can only come up with one reason, and one reason only, of why it will work, then take the chance. That one reason is this... what have you got to lose? No seriously. I'll be in pain you say. Ummm, hello. You already are. I can't move much right now. Of course you can't...because you don't. It will get worse..before it will get better. Yes, but at least it will get better. And trust me on this, you have to believe it will.
So today, in the car home from yoga, I thought, well that could have gone better for my body. But so what...I went. I showed up. I was there. I almost cried in the car and then I said to my head, stop this. Think of where you were a year ago. No really. Stop and think. You moved like an old woman, you were in immense pain, and you saw no end to that pain...ever. Today, you were in pain in a few areas, true, but you were working your muscles. You were doing things and you felt good afterward...just not as good as you hoped. The knot didn't go away like you thought, but it is loosening. Do. Not. Give. Up.
