I’m from Long Island. So that means that when I was a teenager I had large, permed hair and one earring with a key dangling from a hoop like Janet Jackson.
Last week we visited my parents and family still living there and it was definitely one that constantly put a smile on my face. If you have never been to New York, stop what you are doing and buy a plane, train or bus ticket right now. You could drive yourself as well, but the large number of curse words that would come out of your mouth attempting to drive around might cause you alarm.
I can’t tell you how much I loved this trip. I was trying to place my finger on exactly what made this trip different from others and it finally hit me. My kids are one year older than the last time we went. And that year has made a huge difference. We don’t use strollers everywhere, we don’t change diapers and we can actually talk to them about the things we are seeing.
Things like Friendly’s ice cream and how it’s the most amazing ice cream on earth. Let me put it this way. If you believe in God, I’m sure that he created Friendly’s ice cream on the 8th day when everyone thought he was resting. Plus, they give out free balloons to kids. Or grandfathers.
Living by the beach growing up was amazing. As a teenager, I would escape to the beach at the end of our road when I was feeling teen angst and just sit and write horribly-rhyming poems. Now, I sat and watched my children laugh down the peer and find seashells. The circle of life.
And I smiled the biggest smile when my children ran to the big Dum Dum statue from Night at the Museum when we went to the Natural History Museum. They hugged him as if he was an old friend they were finally reunited with many years apart. An old friend that doesn’t talk, is the size of a house and is also made of stone. What a friend.
And look at my mom showing a view of Central Park to my daughter from the museum window. A cute moment where I looked like a psycho stalker taking pictures behind them without them knowing…
My heart was full when after the museum, my cousins and family came out to meet us for a big old picnic in Central Park. Seeing our children play together was absolutely awesome. However, not as awesome as getting my mother to take her first selfie.
And when the family fun was over, it was time for macaroons, martinis and merriment with my agent Jessica Sinsheimer. You knew it was going to be a hilarious time when we started the night off with a trip to the store Intimacy for bra fittings. Now you might be thinking, “What the hell did she just say?” ‘
But it’s true. I went bra shopping with my agent. (Disclaimer: She didn’t see my boobs. That would be horribly awkward. For her. She waited politely in the waiting area.) Intimacy is a store that doesn’t use measuring tapes or devices to see the size of your girls. Nope. Their trained salespeople use different bras to determine the best fit for what you are looking for.
Of course, I was looking for boobs that made me look 20 and didn’t go down to my ankles. Surprisingly, they were only able to accommodate the latter. This pic was from before the appointment. After the fondling and boob touching, I was happy as a clam.
After boob-land, I got to pretend that I stay out late and go to hip places like blue-lit lounges and Soho restaurants. Of course, I fell asleep on the train back to my parents house and might have drooled on my Target fake-silk shirt, but either way, it was a blast.
And in the end, when the week of merriment and fun was over, I boarded the plane home with my kiddos (hubby had to come back home early for work) and I felt complete joy in my heart from all the great memories made.
That is, I felt joy until my son figured out that he could fart on command. Figured it out on a crowded plane with two hours still left to go and a sister that wouldn’t stop pulling his finger.
World, please take this as my official apology for the air quality that occurred in the atmosphere for those long, painful hours… Trust me, I’ve never wanted an oxygen mask to drop down more in my life.
