Once I said that "I have a flame in my soul, too small to cause a fire, too big to die." Not sure if anyone said before but it sounds so right, it's sounds like a definition of my very own being and about my entire existence.
I'd say dare to dream but only as long as you have a support system, these two words define today's day for me, it's not like I've realized it all of the sudden that I have no support system but it did hit me once again. It is believe that as much as a dreamer one is, is directly proportional to how much one is unhappy. The less one dreams, the happy one is. If you're aware that usually you dream big and it makes unhappy and miserable you better next time kill it before it becomes big, it's not worth it. But if you know that you're not alone in it then all you have to do is to look for it in yourself and fight.
Life is not fair and it's not like I just broke it to you but some of us (and by that with no modesty I meant me) will fade away, will never get the chance to show what are they made of.
My dreams are dying, one by one, it doesn't necessarily mean that yours should too. If you have a dream pursue it no matter what, if you can and no one stands in your way do it, think of those who want but can't, you owe it to them. Make their dreams live through you. Make their lives mean something.
I am another drop in the ocean, insignificant.
I believe that in the past there were a lot of people, great and smart and intelligent people, who never saw their dreams come true, and maybe this a way to find peace, to find closure for the broken dreams. Everyday I go to the graveyard of my broken dreams, only to realize they're not there, they've come to me to haunt me everyday and it's not hard to answer to the "why" question, it's because I let them, it's painful but also in a weird way comforting.
In another life, having the same personality I bet my life would have turned out to be great. Wanna know why ? I have a soul or maybe to much brain chemistry, I understand people in a way that doesn't involve logic, logic is for solving math problems, not for everyday human interaction. I wanna say my mom taught me the difference between right and wrong but I'd be lying, I did it by myself, therefore I am capable to make difference and find the line between the two and it's not that blurry as it seems to many people. I laugh and cry, sometimes one more than the other.
I know a lot but most of the time it seems like I don't know a single thing. I've seen to much pain and misery for my age, maybe it's the country I live in, maybe it's the century, I don't know exactly.
My life is in a painful slow motion and I'm to tired already. All I hope now is to finally meet the day of actually living until it's not way to late. But I'm afraid that is not true, it is too late already.