On Parking Lots and Ticket SlotsPosted on the 15 November 2012 by Tracy
So it seems we have turned the usual corner here in Saskatchewan. Our futile complaints about the early winter have given way to grudging acceptance and after much reluctance we’ve all adjusted to the terrible winter driving conditions. I’m quite proud of the fact that I screeched in before the Snow Deadline and had winter tires put on. Now the sensible Mom-car is even more sensible in its new winter kicks. I can confidently resume my job as a reluctant Taxi Driver whose territory is "All over Hell's Half Acre".
Speaking of driving (endlessly), it would seem that everywhere I need to go lately is outfitted with a parking lot. Hospitals, malls, airports, you name it, they all have that one thing in common: The dreaded automated ticket machine at the exit.
The concept is simple. Pay for your ticket at the machine inside before you leave (after said machine spits it out the first 8 times. “Stripe down, you idiot!”), and out you go. Yeah right…Who made these machines? The people laughing their heads off, that’s who. It is clear once you pull up to these little beasts that it is not simply a case of opening your window and placing the ticket in the little slot. N-O. I’ve found that it always shakes down the same way:
First, with your foot on the brake, you try to reach over and insert the ticket but the evil machine is too far away. So then you must sigh heavily and remove your seatbelt. Of course, you still can’t reach it. You must then swear loudly, put your car in park and try it again. Fail. You now must kneel with one knee on the window ledge placing your opposite foot on the chest of your passenger in order to gain enough leverage to manoeuver the ticket into the slot. Dazed and confused by the whole process, you then need to gather the presence of mind to get back into driving position so you can gun it to make it under the very temporarily raised arm.
If you find yourself in the unfortunate position of trying to leave the Saskatoon Airport parking lot; good luck to you, my friend. The machine is about half a city block back from the arm. I suggest blasting the soundtrack to Top Gun on your car stereo and flooring it.
I know what you’re saying, ‘Why don’t you just go to the kiosk?’ Some people have the luxury of driving up to the kiosk and dealing with an actual human being, not the parking machine from hell. These people are special, they have something called Cash. Cash is coin and paper currency; something I have not seen since my children began attending elementary school. All the Cash in the house from that moment on went to things called Book Orders and Hot Lunch Days and Teacher’s Gifts.
Mrs. Neat-as-a-Pin has cash and always seems to be in front of me in the lineup to leave the parking lot. She shares a laugh with the kiosk attendant as he raises the arm for her. She is in no hurry. She has no melting ice cream or sullen teenagers in her back seat. No, she refastens her seatbelt, zips her wallet closed, has a sip of Evian and re-applies her lipstick. Only then does she put the car in gear and drive under the arm. No fear has she of the arm coming down on the roof of her Buick. No sir. She has All the Time in the World to exit.
Alas, I should be grateful that I still have the kids with me in the car. Soon, I will give them the rest of my Cash, they will buy their own cars, and I will have All the Time in the World too. I don’t look forward to that…Drive safe everyone!
These articles might interest you :
Screen capture from the in-progress film Open Road (courtesy of the artist) BY BRIAN LIBBY Today online fundraising campaigns are ubiquitous. Whether it's via... Read moreThe 01 August 2012 by Brianlibby
THE ANSWER TO THURSDAY'S TRIVIA QUESTION: Neil Patrick Harris was Doogie Howser MD and currently is Barney Stinson FIRST FIVES: HONORABLE MENTION: THE NUMBERS... Read moreThe 21 March 2014 by Kristy47
ENTERTAINMENT, TV & VIDEO
Last week I wrote about parking lots and my distaste for them. While parking garages are a much better use of land, they can be quite ugly.My argument today is... Read moreThe 20 May 2012 by 2ndgreenrevolution
Gov. Mike Pence (R) expanded gun rights in Indiana this week by signing SB229 into law (Photo Credit: Indiana Courier Journal) Guns dot com On Wednesday, Indian... Read moreThe 29 March 2014 by Mikeb302000
We are smack dab in the heart of the American television industry’s development season, which is an incredibly important time to writers, producers, production... Read moreThe 29 August 2013 by Weminoredinfilm.com
ENTERTAINMENT, TV & VIDEO
In the earnings call yesterday Demand Media, Inc. (DMD) had some interesting details about the financials they released for the 4th quarter of 2013 and for the... Read moreThe 26 February 2014 by Worldwide
I love photos like this – just one of those moments when you spot something quirky. I suspect the owner of this unicycle got away with parking here, though. It... Read moreThe 25 October 2011 by Ros
MOST POPULAR FROM DIARIES
- Spring 2015 Hair Trend: The Non-Mom Undone Bob by The Fashionable Housewife
- A life without social media by Samantha Curtis
- Lesson Learnt from a Kid by Swathi Shenoy
- World Book Day by Ravenswingthog
Mitt Romney Economy China Christmas Samsung Lance Armstrong Halloween True Blood Winter Sports Nuclear Energy Climate Change European Union Barack Obama Harry Potter Lady Gaga The Box Office Thanksgiving Russia Egypt Academy Awards Rick Perry Mardi Gras North Korea Turkey Apple John Galliano Valentine's Day Apps The Olympics Michelle Rodriguez
MOST RECOMMENDED IN DIARIES
- SHAKE IT OFF by Countesstt
- You Are Awesome! #WorldComplimentDay @ComplimentDay by Vidyasury
- Black and White Sunday: Prayers for Ajaxx by Kristy
- All about Arnab by C. Suresh