Self Expression Magazine

Picture on the Wall!

By Harithapk

Picture on the Wall!27th Aug 2007It will take a long time for them to come in terms with reality. There wasn’t even a minute when they didn’t glance at me. Edward kept crying whole day long. I wish I could let them know that they have to move on and that things are going to be fine.A week laterThere is some normality in their routine now. It is nice to see Edward finally having his food and not crying for me.  If he has accepted things the way it is, I am sure others will too. Both Eddie (Edward) and Ellie have begun to go to school.  Josh seems to be a little tired managing this, but he certainly is doing a great job. He always was a great Father. Even though I never gave up and said I was the best, I always knew he was the best out of us both.30th Sep 2007 Things from the outside look perfectly normal. They have caught up with the pace of life pretty well. After all they got to make up for all of the time they lost thinking of me. Eddie and Ellie have become less dependent now. But, there are times when they break down silently. Sadly, even though it is because of me there is nothing much I can do.2nd Dec 2007Josh confessed that he is unable to focus on work with so many things happening around. Hence, I was surprised to see him come home with a best performer trophy. I was always so proud of him. I wonder if he realized it ever. Eddie has stopped asking for my whereabouts and Ellie did tell me that she is glad because she doesn’t have to lie to him anymore. But, later she did come to me again after ensuring nobody is around and checked if lying would bring her to me faster and also said she would consider lying if it actually would.25th Dec 2007My Family chose to break the tradition this year while the whole world celebrated Christmas.1st Jan 2008It was moving to see Jeff slip into the kids’ room day before night to keep their Christmas and New Year gifts. He secretly told me that he realizes that I would have been upset since Christmas wasn’t the usual and wanted to make up for it by celebrating the New Year.  It is 11.30 AM now and they are still fast asleep. Actually, I did wonder if they would over look the New Year too. All thanks to Kevin and Family who stepped in like every New Year’s Eve with cakes, gifts and wine. This is the first time in months that the house is filled with laughter. And what more could I ask for than being the toast of the evening.
15th April 2008In 2007, this day I had baked a Chocolate Cake for Ellie myself. After all, she had turned twelve and was entering her teen. I couldn’t celebrate it last year due to the treatments and illness. Even though Josh has been trying hard to impress Ellie today on her 15thBirthday, she somehow looks lost and gloomy to me. Eddie did confess that he is tired trying to make Ellie happy.23rd June 2008I had promised Eddie that today I had bake him his favorite Cake. Little did I know, my countdown had already begun? Strangely, Eddie is all happy and having fun on his 11thBirthday. Josh is thanking his stars that his charm is working on Edward unlike Ellie. She seems to have become all the more stubborn. I hope Josh can deal with her Teenage mood swings. 1st July 2008Every year when I was around, I had to literally remind him of our anniversary. It is so absurd that this year when I am no more he remembers it all by himself. How I wish he didn’t.26th August 2008They lit a candle, prayed and thought of me before getting back to their usual  routine. I must say quiet a lot has changed in one year. They are moving on.31st Dec 2008Quiet a lot of plans done for New Year. More friends are coming in with families and what a treat it is to see them happy and smiling. By the way, I realize it is some time that Eddie has had his usual conversation with me. 16th Mar 2009They have all gone to their Grand Parents’. I off late notice that Josh doesn’t wear the Wedding ring anymore. I should be happy I guess. 26th August 20092 years on. Ellie is at her friend’s place. Josh and Eddie have gone fishing. But, I hear them separately and silently remembering me. I sense a lot of problems in bonding between the three. 22nd Feb 2010I wish there was less of this chaos. Ellie wants to move in separately considering herself to be grown up. Josh has lost his patience completely and has asked her to do what she thinks is best. I am devastated that Eddie too has begun his routine of smokes and drinks. Wonder where all of it is leading to.
13th March 2010Finally, Ellie left yesterday after all the daily arguments and abuses. Guess, she forgot to carry a picture of mine. Josh seems to be completely out of focus and is disturbed. More than anything, I see a new ring on Josh’s finger. Eddie and Josh don’t speak as often as before. They both are never home at the same time unless they are sleeping.26th August 2009Three years on! Guess they don’t remember things anymore. Josh was on a conversation with someone saying he wants to move out of this place. Well! I wonder if he is going to take my picture. Meanwhile, Eddie has dropped in after long only to collect all his belongings and move out. A look at him and I can say he is taken onto drugs.15th October 2009Josh has hired out a new place and I see him coming in every week to collect a few of his belongings. I certainly don’t belong in there anymore because I am still hanging on the wall here. It was comforting to find him talk to both Ellie and Eddie on the phone but distressing to know he is planning to sell the house.1st January 2010I see the Fireworks. It must be the New Year but my place is dusted and so is my picture. Cobwebs surround my lovely house and rats have made it their home. I didn’t know when the Christmas came and went by. Well! I see the real Estate folks coming in and showing the house to clients. 2nd March 2010 @ 11.30 AMAll of them are here. I see my world together after so long. Eddie and Ellie have come to help their Dad move out with rest of his belongings. Finally, they are going to dust my picture and I can’t wait to go along.  2nd March 2010 @ 4.30 PMThe house looks so empty. Most of the things are taken. Ellie seems to have grown up into a beautiful lady and looks responsible. She has been dusting and cleaning. Eddie too looks so fresh and smart. I guess he has come over drugs. Guess the good times are back. I overheard Josh apologizing to them for all the things that went wrong and asking their support to start on a new life. Well, they seem to agree. 2nd March 2010 @ 7.30 PMThey were almost done when I realized that they haven’t taken my picture. It was heartbreaking to see them leave the house. I heard Ellie say to Josh that she is going to miss the house and me. Little do they realize that, they are indeed leaving without me? My hopes finally left with Eddie when he re-entered the house and took one of the clocks along leaving me to rot here.6th March 2010 New guys are in here and are on a cleaning spree. They threw all the old and unwanted stuffs left around. I see them coming towards me with a huge garbage bag. Well! In no time I would be thrown away too. After all, I am no more than a piece of furniture now.Finally, they moved on just like I wanted. May be it doesn’t matter anymore. After all, Now I am just a picture hanging from the Wall!
Gracias,HPK!!!Picture on the Wall!

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