"Stop being a tough girl & take 2 Advil every 6-8 hours."I'd been talking about my shoulder pain for almost 2 weeks, had been icing it, gently stretching it & trying to rest it as much as I could. But still it ached. And still I refused to take pain relievers.
Every time I got close to taking a pain reliever I'd stop & say to myself "You're strong enough to tough it out. Your clients make it through childbirth without pain meds, you can make it through a few days with an achey shoulder!"
But today, my wonderful, long-time chiropractor gave it to me straight.
"Lauren, out of the 17 years you've been my patient, I've seen you cry once. And that one time had nothing to do with pain, but with frustration because of your Guillain-Barre. Now you're crying because you're clearly in pain. It's OK to take a pain reliever."
And at that, I cried even harder. Oh my poor chiropractor. He had given me permission to admit my weaknesses & made it OK to let go
I don't know why, but his counsel is always such a surprise to me.
It was a surprise when I beat myself up after spraining my ankle my Junior year of High School which prevented me from competing at the end of the swim season. He told me to take it easy on myself, to let my body rest & heal properly.
It was a surprise when I was going through the discouraging effects of Levaquin poisoning & the early stages Guillaine-Barre. He reminded me that if he can come back from partial paralysis TWICE in his life, then I could do it too.
And it was surprise today, when I was pushing my body beyond it's limit, to the point that I could barely breath through the pain. He told me it was OK to admit that I was in pain & to do something about it.
In each of these instances pride was standing in my way, keeping me from accepting my limitations, & pushing me further into a painful situation. I didn't want to accept that I couldn't compete in the final swim meets of the season. I didn't want to believe that my nerve & muscle weakness was anything more then my body needing time to recuperate after battling pneumonia. I didn't want to admit that my shoulder/collar bone were hurting so significantly that I'd actually have to take something for it.
Silly as it may seem, in each of these instances, I thought I was tougher than the ailment & I was determined to handle it on my own without help.
But I can't do everything on my own. Sometimes I need pain relief. Sometimes I need wise counsel. Sometimes I need permission to throw up my hands & say "Uncle!!!"
The people God uses to bring these humbling revelations to light are not always who I expect. I think that's what makes the counsel so effective. I often drown out the voices of those closest to me when it comes to straight talk. So, when someone involved in my life, but not embedded in my life, calls me on this stubborn pride of mine, I know it's serious. I know I need to listen.
Even though I'm in pain (a lot less of it now that I've finally taken that Advil) and even though I'm being forced to take a rest (yet again... when will I learn?!), I'm incredibly thankful for the people God uses to help bring me back to center. It's often unexpected, but like I said, that's what makes it even more powerful.
Maybe, just MAYBE, next time my pride won't get in the way.
